Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas!

 It's the fifth night of Hanukkah and it's a very un-Hanukkah moment right now, lol. My house is a mess, I have tater tot hotdish baking and the Christmas tree is sagging in my dining room. But at least the menorah is shined up and ready for another lighting :)
 I dislike real Christmas trees. The only good thing is the wonderful smell of them. Otherwise they suck. I have pine needles all over my floor that no matter how many times I sweep, they are there. And it's dead. I mean sagging, greyish, and just blah. And the ornaments are put up halfway on it so that my cats and children leave them alone, lol. It's pathetic and no I refuse to take any photos of it. Definitely getting a fake tree next year.
 So like I said before, it's the fifth night of Hanukkah, prepping for the nightly gift opening. The kidlets get a gift each to open every night for eight nights. It's great. And then on Christmas day (tomorrow) they get the one big gift we got them and then the gifts that all of our relatives and friends got for them.
 What really makes this holiday awesome is that my cousin and his girl-friend are over here from Montana. It has been so much fun having them here and makes it feel a lot like home just because it's like a piece of Montana came with them :  ) We are having so much fun and everything seems so much nicer and better now.
 I'm making this a short bit because I have some goodie to bake, some laundry to fold and we have some gifts to open. Maybe you'll get lucky and I will post a photo or two : )
 Have yourself a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Feliz Navidad and Happy Kwanza! Lost of love from my family and I to you and yours!

Almost There!

 Two weeks until Christmas day. Nine days until Hanukkah begins. Am I ready? Of course not! LoL. The biggest procrastinator is STILL on top of things : D But thanks to a awesome site, I found a few last minute gifts that make me feel so good about being that much closer to being done.

  Do you ever find yourself trying hard to be merry and joyful during this season and anything little can dampen your spirits? I've been avoiding people a lot lately. Between work and trying to find time for my family, I don't have any time to spare, and when I do, the last thing I want to do, is deal with drama or crap. I found out a few of my so-called friends, avoid me and don't want to hang out with me because of my children. Innnnteresting....Yes people, I am a mother, and yes people I do cherish what little time I have with my children so they do tend to hang with me. One day, you will understand. I know that I have people out there judging me and every little thing I do or say. They are quick with the excuses or reasons why they do it, but I, try not to give them a second thought. Maybe the only thing they have going for them is thinking they are better than most, I don't know, all I know, is I pretty much don't care but pity you. And I truly don't care what you wish people greetings wise during this month. I'll say happy holidays if I want to and if you don't life it pffffffft on you. 

 I'm going to be honest and admit that right now, I'm having some pretty awful thoughts. I know I'm not the only one to go through this so I'm not ashamed. So I was going to make all my Christmas gifts this year. But then I found some great deals and some awesome websites (www.gummylump.com and no they didn't pay me to advertise that) and found a lot of neat stuff for my nieces, nephews, friend's kids, etc... that I just had to get. Realistically, I'm on a budget so I decided most of the adults I know won't be getting anything but their kids at least will. No offense to the adults I know but if you are a decent parent, I know you will understand. But I have some relatives that no matter what holiday it is, we get the chintziest gifts. It's like they try really hard not to spend anything and it was probably a gift given to them many years ago. Do you ever find yourself shopping for people and knowing they either won't do a thing for you or if they do, it was probably out of a guilty conscience that they even gave something to begin with. The whole, well I can't NOT get you something because you did get something for me theory? I'm not perfect so sometimes, I have a hard time wanting to do thing for some people. I try to be friendly with them, not getting much back, try to bite my tongue and not be cruel to them or about them to others, and then when it comes to this season I begin asking myself, I know the purpose of Christmas is to celebrate Jesus, God giving us Him, Jesus' love and so on and so forth, but man, can't I leave some people out? It's hard. Don't act like you never had a thought like this either, I bet some of you ARE like my crazy aunt Beth  ; ) "Here's a can of Campbell's soup, Merry Christmas, oh and thank you for that awesome 53 1/3 inch flat screen hi-def tv!!!" It frustrates me but I guess I just have to do what I always do, bite my tongue, push away the ugly feelings, and do it because it's what God would do for me. Sometimes, it's difficult trying to be decent though...

 Today I was blessed to have a day off from all my jobs and so I put on my footie pajamas with some funky panda bears on them (not my ideal choice but as it was the last pair left....)and sit and watch a few Veggietale movies and drink hot chocolate with the kidlets and husband. I love lazy days, especially since I only get one a week. In between working any of my four jobs, I have been working out here at home, cleaning my house, working on Bug's various school work-Awana-Christmas play stuff, and dealing with the holidays. I really wish we had an eight day week with 26 hours in a day. That would be so helpful! Crazy is just an understatement around here.  

 And if you think I have holiday music blaring around here, not yet. I went out and bought the first CD that I've bought in years, and it was Adele's cd. I love her music! I can't believe I bought it but I did. And if you haven't heard her or listened to her cd yet. Well you're probably crazy, out of touch with the world, orrrr have a really bad taste in music. Just sayin'....And kidding of course : )

 Before I go, I must post a few pictures. We visited Santa a week ago and it was pretty fun. Bean didn't really care for the guy but he put up with a few pictures. And Bug was ecstatic. I don't know why, she knows he wasn't real...

And then we did the yearly family photos. The ones that will not only grace our gorgeous Christmas cards but also my family wall as well. What do you think? 

 Out of all the years, so far, this one is my favorite. We only do one family picture a year so it's really awesome to see how we all change and grow. Maybe next year I'll have short hair...Don't count on it, lol.
 Anyways, hope everyone is having a great weekend! I'm off to finish a great day by shopping for dinner and food stuffs for the week and read a really good book. 

And It's On!

 We put our tree up last night. Well, actually, the Husband did while I was at work. He left off the ornaments and decorations but at least got it up. The kidlets have been running around ever since, really excited about having it up finally, and my house doesn't seem so bare now. I told the kidlets they get to stay up a little later tonight so that when I get off of work, we can put the decorations up together.

 Growing up, we ever had any traditions. So creating traditions with my kidlets is so important to me. One of our traditions is our yearly ornaments. Everybody gets a new ornament from Hallmark each year. And as we hang them up, we talk about that year's Christmas. It's quite nice and makes us appreciate the memories more. 

 Tomorrow after I get off of work, we get to drive down to Minot and get our family pictures done. Later than I liked but life got crazy and busy and I forgot. We only do family pictures once a year so when it is time, I get really excited for them. I like seeing how my family is changing, the kidlets are growing another year older, and putting another picture up on our wall which is yet one more year for us, together : ) That's always a wonderful accomplishment. One I never hold for granted either. 

 We got some possible good news the other day. Abel finally, FINALLY, got fitted for his contact lens. It will supposedly be here in a week. And supposedly, the railroad wants to put him back to work right back as a student engineer. I'm not supposed to get my hopes up but really? How can I not? 

 So. How is everyone else doing with the holiday season? I like to wish people "Happy Holidays". I got sassed at for doing that. Let me remind everyone, my family celebrates two holidays. And this year they fall at the same time. So on the day we celebrate Christmas, we are also still celebrating Hanukkah. I am so over the lectures of how rude I am to not wish someone a Merry Christmas. Really?! Okaaaay....Don't let me trip over your ego trip but umm when was the last time someone actually wished me a Happy Hanukkah? Never mind the fact that everyone knows I'm Jewish and all. Ugh. Sometimes, Christians are the ones to make the biggest issues out of nothing. Everyone is supposed to do it their way, give them respect, and watch what they say or do around them but when do things go the other way?

  I have a friend who judges and criticizes everything everyone does to him and says it strictly out of love and according to God. He's better than anyone. Does everything better. And God forbid someone do something different than they do. But when someone approaches this guy, to tell him he's being an asshole rude or doing something not cool, you are a jerk and get them silent treatment for a few weeks. What would you do? Because I have done the whole "tell them how you feel" thing, and he called me dramatic. I. Am only slightly dramatic thankyouverymuch. And I. Am also honest. Straightforward. I annoy people because sometimes, I call them out on stuff. If I, or anyone else, come to you telling you that you have done something to hurt my (their) feelings, upset me (or them), or generally just pissed me (or them) off, at least apologize and be a big enough person to try to fix things. Brushing a person off is pathetic. And not changing anything is too. When I say something to you, and try to talk to you about how I feel, I really do it because I care. If I don't care about someone, I don't try to talk to them or get very personal at all. I keep a distance because you bug me to pieces but because I know nothing will change, I keep my distance. I have lots of friends. Some who even read this. But. Very close friends who I tell everything to or feel I can approach in an honest straightforward way? Not a lot. But in that category it is more about quality than quantity. 

 WIth that said, my first honest post is done. I'm going to begin my laundry and dishes so that I can get my child from school and get ready for work. Ugh work. We had a wonderful debate on that subject a few days ago. Welfare and work and being a mother and such. I impressed a lot of people older than me on my views on all of the above. I'd probably piss a lot off on here, lol. 

 So people, time to jet. Have a fabulous day! 

Rules, Chaos, and Holidays.

Ahhh December. The beautiful snow. Holiday music. Family and friends hanging out. Christmas specials on TV. Annnnnnnnd two or three weeks of stress. I love this time of year!

It's not really all that bad. It does get stressful and I should have done better this year. I once again left everything to last minute and I am feeling the stress of it. I have ornaments to finish creating to send off for my family ornament exchange, I have Hanukkah gifts to buy for my kidlets. Hanukkah and Christmas menus to plan. Christmas pictures to get done ad cards finished and sent off. And decorating, putting up the tree and getting things done. Agggh!

Just kidding.

Sorta.

So today I bought the first of the gifts. I bought a really cute inflatable bouncy trampoline thing. Bug and Bean tend to love jumping on the guest bed and it drives me insane. Utterly insane. So I caved and bought this contraption that is small enough to fit in my dining room and yet big and bouncy enough to let them bounce their little hearts out. And gives them an option to let out all their energy while we hibernate in our house this winter. I thought it was perfect.

We are doing our holidays differently this year. Hanukkah and Christmas both. I'm pretty excited about it. And they will fall together which will be great. The kidlets get one big gift for Christmas plus a stocking full of small goodies, plus whatever else they get from family and friends, and then they get their one gift a night during Hanukkah. So no massive overload and yet no going without. Now hopefully I don't ruin the latkes and all will be grand : )
 In other news, I am unsure of what's going on in life right now. It's always great when God topsy turvys it and you have no idea what is going on. So we take it one day at a time. Life is pretty much the same except that Husband has decided to be done with the railroad. He has pride as does any man and I don't blame him but, sadly, I was very attached to the paychecks. So the hard part is compensating for less money which totally sucks. But is hopefully very temporary because husband is also wanting to go work on the oil rigs. Boy that would be nice.......
 I'm trying to keep an upbeat tone for this blog but I think my strength is waning. There is so much controversy in life that bugs me to pieces, I am afterall human, judge me if you must but you have flaws too ; )  But at the same time, being one of those blog authors who must be negative all the time or have to stir pots to increase readers is just not my thing. I also however don't want this to be a monotonous diary sounding blog. Dear diary today I washed dishes....blah blah blah. So I will be thinking of exactly what I want this to be but it will be very real. Very my opinion style. Nothing forced upon you. But very out there. And sometimes, kind of blunt and hard to take. I have had so many pieces that I wanted to write, inspired by a friend of mine who also writes a most excellent blog, but I have a lot of fear of coming out with certain posts. So I either keep them private or I erase and never post. Sometimes, I fear judgement from people and fear what they truly think more than i fear anything else in this world. People can be cruel and heartless and as long as they step on others to make themselves feel better, everything is ok. But, I got a wonderful message last night and I have reread it many times and the best part of it (well one of the best parts) is what is truly pushing me. "Courage is not the lack of fear, but rather it means being afraid and doing it anyway." So, I'm just going to write without a second thought of it. And I don't want to limit myself by applying rules such as how long a blog should be, that it should be of a few subjects or just one, what is PC and what isn't....blah blah blah. Just. Writing. Like I should be doing.  : )
 Ahhh. A little bit of a peaceful feeling now that I posted something after such a long silence. I need to go get Bug from school and clean up the house a little before work. I hope life isn't as chaotic for any of you out there and if it is, shrug it off and have some hot chocolate. And browse pinterest.com, lol!! Until next time,

Me Oh My

 Wowza! Two weeks has gone by since my last blog. I try not to let too much time pass by, and at the same time, I don't want to post too frequently, but dang! Two weeks...
Let's play catch up shall we?

Halloween. 

 It was really fun. Bug was a spider princess and Bean was a spider. They both looked super cute but very un-spiderish in the whole "I-hate-spiders-and-will-kill-every-one" sort of way. Definitely did not want to beat these ones with my shoe  ; ) They made out with a ton of candy. Literally. Well...Almost literally. I bought a big black plastic cauldron at Walmart a few years ago, all the candy they got fit into it perfectly. So, we won't be buying candy for a few years. I did however, learn something that weekend though, babies and toddlers make more of a haul then the older kidlets. And we did compare. Big cuteness factor when a little one can barely utter trick-or-treat and thank you I suppose. Oh well, more candy for me ; )

Hannah and I have been spending more time together at night doing all sorts of crafty activities. Her favorite one which is a nightly repeat is the whole cornstarch goop. You add cornstarch and water together to make a barely liquid but barely solid kind of goop. She loves it and I do too because it is so easy, cheap to make and yet so easy to clean up too. Got the idea off of www.pinterest.com don't know if anyone uses it, so just in case you don't...you should. It is amazing and I'm not telling you anything about it just so you will go see for yourself :P

 Husband has been home for over a month and a half now. It's a big long story of a mess but basically husband lost his job for being colorblind and now is back on but laid off. His union (who is headed by Jimmy Hoffa Jr thank goodness) and it's lawyers are now pursuing a class action case against the company for discriminating and violating the A.D.A. (American Disabilities Act) I'm upset and stressed out by it because Husband is an amazing employee. How many people do you know who have never been fired by the time they were 30? Well, besides me, I've never been fired either. But not very many people can say that. He has always done a good job, never even ran a switch or derailed a train (No, not every derailment causes an explosion or huge deal, sometimes only a few wheels pop off the track by an inch, not a big deal at all) so why this company treats him and other employees like crap is just unfair.

 My sister-in-law is moving at the end of the month. It makes me sad because she and my nephew are the only family we have in this town. We have a lot of fun together and it makes it nice to know you have someone to vent to about anything and it won't go very far. But I'm really happy about it because they get to move to Minneapolis. So it isn't but eight hours away and I always enjoy an excuse to go visit the cities  : D

 I picked up an extra job and a few extra shifts at work so my week is completely blown away as far as free time is concerned. I have to map out times to get my holiday stuff started now so I don't procrastinate with it too much and it gets late. I'm doing handmade gifts this year and am part of a family ornament exchange. Handmade may seem cheap to some people, which is not all fiction, but to me, they seem to make the best sense. People get too material around this time of year. That and I don't know very many people who can even bake a pie without going to the store and buying one in the box. My goal is to get more crafty, more DIY-ish, and create my food from scratch or as close to it that I can come.

 Today was one of my biggest accomplishments (even though we didn't get a thing!) First day hunting! Really exciting to go out but a big let down when we had to come home without anything in the truck. I'm a really awesome shot, and can't wait to down my first deer. And it puts enough meat in my freezer for at least a few months. I haven't had to buy store bought meat in over a year and that's exactly how I like it. I know where all my chicken, beef and deer meat came from. And it has zero pesticides, chemicals, hormones, or whatever in it. Plus, if you cook it right, deer tastes amazing!!

 Is it too early to put on Carol of The Bells and Let It Snow? I LOVE this time of year! Hot cocoa, snow (which started falling today), and Christmas songs and movies. I have to start figuring out holiday pictures that are going on our Christmas cards this year. And getting everything ready for Thanksgiving. I stock up early because I cook for us, but then I cook for the railroad guys too. Lots of them. LOTS. LoL.

 So that about catches us up on life so far. So much has been going on, it really seemed like longer than two weeks...I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend and don't forget about tomorrow and honoring our veterans!!

Bright & Chipper : )

 Last night we went over to a friend's house and meet up with a few other friend's of ours and enjoyed dinner with them. In my personal opinion, there is nothing like girl's time with your friends. We sent the guys outside with all the kids and the barbecue and we poured ourselves some wine and enjoyed ourselves chatting and laughing. Definitely what I needed. I love getting together with people and hanging out. Especially if they have kids and it's nice enough outside to let them run loose. The kids get some playtime and so do the adults : )
 This has been an upside down week for us all. The kids and I got sick with the seasonal colds and it dragged me down. The kids are awesome when it comes to getting sick because they have really great immune systems. Bug ended up throwing up last night for the second time in her life. Pukes once and ready to go play right afterward. Seeing her today, you would never think she even got sick. Ignacio is the same way. I don't like medicine of any kind unless it is absolutely needed. Otherwise I just let our bodies fight everything off. I don't do herbal or natural stuff either except for myself because I have crappy immune system and it's too late for my immunity to build up, lol.
 I'm in the process of making plans for a quick trip to Montana. I miss my girls too much and I wanted a visit in before the snow came, so I'm hoping it holds off for a few more weeks. We're planning a girl's day ending with the new Twilight movie. I love that series. I know there are people who find it ridiculous, and that's fine, but I love books that lose you within it's story. I love reading fiction because it takes me away from the present. A little bit of an escape without actually leaving.
 I just finished Something Borrowed the book and moved on to Something Blue. I have Emily Griffin's whole set and so far these books are really good. I was really happy that the book and movie didn't differ too much. A few things were different of course but not too bad. It was the first movie that for once was realistic and not happy ever after. I dislike when movies are always the same thing. The stories might be different but they become so predictable. Something good starts off the movie, something bad happens and then everyone fixes it and lives happily ever after. This movie, was not the case, thank goodness. I won't ruin it for anyone out there who hasn't seen it but it was really good.
 Today is definitely a day of catching up for me. My house needs some cleaning up and a few loads of laundry need done. Now that everyone is all better finally, I'm going to go hit the gym for a few hours. Normally I'm at the gym for only two hours but I have missed the last four days and I need to make up for that time. It wouldn't be such a big deal but I am definitely addicted to going. Tomorrow marks three weeks going and I can already see a difference and feel a difference in my body. I pulled out my smallest size of pants that I haven't been able to get in for a few months and threw them on with ease. Realized they came on with room to spare even! Definitely a highlight of my month!  : D So maybe in a few more weeks I will finally pull on the never been touched, dust on the legs, size 10's that I bought years ago, and fit perfectly : ) I look forward to writing about that occasion : )
 If any of you enjoy a good site, I highly recommend pinterest.com I have a few friends tell me about it and one really good friend come over and physically make me check it out, lol, and it was definitely the best find in a very long time. So if you get sucked in too, let me know, I'll add you to my board : )
 Have a fabulous rest of the weekend and Go Packers!!

At That Point.

 At what point do you tell people enough is enough? 

* My husband decided to have my son's ear pierced. He being my son's parent mind you, thought it was okay. Thought that since we got our daughter's ears pierced when she was 6 months old, and that our nephews have it done and friend's kids have it done as well, why not? What would it hurt putting a tiny little diamond in his ear that he can take out later if he decides he doesn't want it in? That even though I didn't want to at first, am now liking it after all. But now I get to hear how bad parents we are for doing such a horrible thing, especially to our son. I haven't made a big production of it and actually, if the little fart wouldn't tell people himself, they wouldn't even notice. And I obviously can't hide him inside the house all day everyday. Today's grocery trip was sort of needed after all. The criticism was not however. People, let us be mindful that what one set of parents (or one parent, in the terms of single parents) decides to do with their children, is up to nobody but them. You, as the non parent party, get to step back smile and at most say "It is what it is" (my favorite saying from a favorite person) but respect the parents/parent and watch the things you say, be it to their face or behind their back later. I'm sure there are a few things they could say about you and your parenting but I in this case, don't. I think them to myself in a chuckling manner, but I don't say them. It just hurts how people think they can tell me what I'm doing wrong all according to their judgement. If I wanted opinions on how to raise my children, you would have been in the bedroom while I made mine. You weren't then, and you aren't now so butt out! 

*Friendship. It is such a tricky thing. It honestly is. Especially for me. I have a set of true blue amazing friends who don't live near me that I constantly have guilt about not keeping better in touch. But yet I am reminded that everytime I do talk to any one of them, it really is like we never lost touch for any period of time. When I visit them, it's like we were together just the other day. That does feel like a special bond to me. Don't get me wrong, it isn't always perfect friendship, I hardly ever remember to write, I often run my mouth without thinking and let's face it, they are better people than I. But the best part is that even through my flaws, they still love me and are there for me. And if it weren't for my oldest and closest friend here, I'm pretty sure I would be crazy by now as well. Wellllll....crazier than I already am that is. As I never name names on here, just to be polite, I won't drop this one's either, but it's rare to find someone who is always there for you no matter what, even in the times that sometime suck and you reeeeally don't want to be. And then to love you even after those times. 

 But what do you do when you feel like a friendship you thought you had wasn't really one after all. When people who are supposed to be close to you end up the only ones who screw you over and pretty much use you? At what point is enough, actually enough? I'm at that point with a few people and it sucks because something tells me, I'm the only one who will end up walking away caring. Sometimes a person can only take so much and if you end up on the end that I'm on, just remember, if it for your own good, do it and don't give a crap what anyone else thinks. I try too much to live for others approval and it is just ridiculous. Yet it's a constant habit that I can't seem to break because as much as I don't want to, I end up doing. And if you haven't called or texted or facebooked or snail mailed a friend lately to ask how they are, you should. And if you are one of those people who make life all about you and never care enough to listen to someone about them at least once in awhile, do the other person a favor and walk away. Selfish isn't good in any situation or relationship...

 *Politics. Seriously, when is enough ever enough with that? I am not into politics. I could care less because honestly it may affect the world, my state, my gas prices, but I really have too much going on in my life to stop and care. You can hate me if you'd like, and judge me all you want to but I seriously don't care. But I also hate haring about it on Facebook all day, everyday. Nothing is going to change about our president until next year, and as many people as there are in this country, why do some people think that if they rant on our president all day long, that maybe he will somehow see their page and change? Or that being a certain ethnicity or religion makes a political statement all on it's own. If I were president, would I be judged solely on where I was born, what religion I am, and what friends I have/had? In that case, forget it, I like my anonymity. Besides, with the power of a little red button at my disposal, enough people pissing me off might make me push the little bugger ; )

*Archeologists. Not all of them but the majority. As I was watching TV the other day, an ad came on for some show called Decoded I think. About how aliens must have put Stonehenge here and trying to decode why. Really? Does your job pay you enough to sit and wonder about statues that were here since forever? It's not that I don't believe in aliens (I don't) or that archeologists are useless (only some) but the fact that people sit around wondering about something they will never ever know the answer for, just bugs me. Like they couldn't find something more useful to do with their time. If I believed in aliens, I would like to think that they have better things to do then place rock formations on random planets. No wait, maybe they DID place them here so they could sit back and watch the clueless humans run around trying to figure out how and why. Reality TV alien style  : )

*Speaking of TV, Kim Kardashian. Enough is enough. I get tired of her and that family. She and her sisters annoy me to bits. So does that awful show Toddlers and Tiaras. And I'm sorry but Dance Moms, while entertaining to watch, those poor kidlets have my pity. I believe in dance in any form, but to dress your six year old daughter like a prostitute, have shaking her booty in front of men and women who you have no idea their background and if they have secret pedophile habits or not, just baffles me. But then again....It is what it is and it isn't for me. And that's the end of that one....(Like how I did that? Study. Learn. Do!) 

Boo!

 Have you ever been scared of the dumbest little thing? I am. A few of them actually. Bees. The dark. Tornados. Men who are dirty and homeless. And Walmart at certain times of the year. Now the first one is really not dumb as I am allergic to them so it's more of a "I-Fear-You-Out-Of-The-Chance-Of-Death" sort of fear. Dirty bugs...But they are handy because of the honey and flowers and such so we have an agreement of they leave me alone and I leave them alone. I actually feed them outside too, which is weird. Very, very weird. The second fear? The dark. It's not that I'm actually scared. It's just creepy to sit in the dark. Alone. And quietly. I always have to have the tv on. Or at least my sound machine. Something so that it isn't just me. Weird things happen in my house so me and the dark do not get along. Which is ironic in the sense that my children don't sleep with night lights and because of where their windows are, it's pretty pitch dark in their rooms. My children aren't scared of the dark and yet their mother, who is quickly reaching 30 is. That is just sad. Very, very sad...Tornados. That one is just sensible. Who would enjoy a tornado coming up and ripping apart their home, cars, possibly killing them and their family, and destroying a town that they live in? Yeah I'm nutty for that one right?? Well, actually, if you want to know the truth, that is a small part of the fear. The biggest part is that I love storms, but when the wind gusts are ripping my screen doors off my house and shaking the trees so hard you think they are going to fall through the house, I get scared that I am going to have to go sit in our basement. That is all dirt. And full of must, dampness, and spiders. And is just really icky. Did I really just say icky??...And the whole dirty men thing, it's just creepy men with long hair and dirty clothes and look at you like they just got released from prison after serving 30 years. Men scare me period thanks to an interesting part of my life. So this isn't as judgmental as it is, honest and understanding. At least from my point of view and on this, I'm right. Now comes for Walmart. This is where most people's hatred for holidays hit. It's October. I went to Walmart in September and guess what holiday they were already setting up for? CHRISTMAS! Now, I love Christmas as much as the next person but seriously? Why can't they pull stuff out in, oh I don't know, December?? Kind of ruins it for me with all the commercialization and such. This year is going to be a fun one since we are celebrating Hannukah and Christmas together but it just depresses me when I see everything set out and we haven't gotten to experience Halloween or Thanksgiving yet.
 I always stress about Christmas. I love buying things for people but then as soon as they are sent off I immediately kick into stressing out about whether they will like the gifts I got or not. Abel has the whole "either they like it or we just won't buy them anything next year" sort of mentality which I hate. I don't want people to not like what I get them. I do what my dad did every year because it is on the easy side in the fact that I can buy something for an entire family of six the same way I can get something for a family of two. But I hate it in the sense that I didn't make it or put actual time into it. But then I talk to people about making them handmade stuff and they tell me it's cheap and they'd throw it away sooner or later so not to bother. Makes me sad :(
 Today is quit random. I just felt the urge to write, not about anything in particular really, just, write.
 Life has been very crazy and very.....unknown, lately. I am a control freak. I like being in semi-control of what happens. And lately I haven't been able to control what has been happening. Husband has a decent job. The paychecks are very nice and it has been great getting things paid off and even spoiling ourselves somewhat. But I hope that very soon, after everything is paid off and our debt no longer exists, Husband can quit this job and we can move back to Montana. Not many people like being poor but I do. I actually miss it. Things meant much more back then. They were fully appreciated and were more special. Now we take for granted and even expect things. Granted we have been able to give our kids much more than we ever got but still. Sometimes money and happiness can't co-exist :( That and I feel like people have distanced themselves from us too. Like we are awful people for having money or something. And when Abel goes into the military, it would be really nice to be home with family who I know I can call in an instant no matter what. This town is amazing for community support but I feel would feel ridiculous for calling someone for something they would deem as small.
 Sooo enough blabbering about nothing. Husband came home from the store and made us smoothies and we are going to go watch Zookeeper and Rio. Have a grand evening all!

Minneapolis!

 Driving at night when you have to drive long distances is awesome. It's pretty much how I do anymore when it comes to our driving trips. Especially with the kids. They sleep, I jam out to music and talk to whoever is with me (in this case, my sister-in-law) and enjoy the road because I'm the only one on it. Score! 

 The trip went well and getting to see my husband was so exciting, I actually had butterflies of excitement/nervousness! We got in right in time for breakfast at the hotel so we unloaded the car, ate some breakfast, got showered and ready for the day, and then headed over to the Mall of America. It was the Bug's fifth birthday so we allowed for some spoiling. I backed away from them both because Husband has been gone for a few weeks, I think it was good to let them hang out. Which turned out convenient because Ignacio was too little for all the rides and I don't do any rides that make me nauseas which was pretty much all of them, lol. I had big plans for lunch or dinner at the best restaurant ever, Bubba Gump's, but Hannah chose The Rainforest Cafe instead which turned out to be pretty amazing too. I love the atmosphere which has tanks of fish everywhere, monkeys that yell and go crazy, and thunderstorms as you are eating. Tons of fun! And the food was amazing and came on plates the size of my son pretty much. My sister-in-law ordered my daughter the biggest dessert they had, complete with sparklers, and had the staff sing happy birthday to her. It was awesome that's for sure. 

 From there we went directly to Build-A-Bear. My nephew's birthday is coming up at the end of this month, Bean's birthday just passed and being as it was Bug's birthday, we decided to let the kids pick out an animal, an outfit and let them build them all for their birthdays. Bug got a kitty, a cute fairy costume and shoes, and then picked out a stroller because God forbid she have to carry the thing everywhere, lol. Beanie picked out a monkey (of course *sigh*) and was drawn to Cars pajamas and slippers for his, and my nephew picked out an adorable puppy and a cute race car t-shirt and jeans for it. We stuffed sound chips in them, and a heartbeat maker in Bug's so that every time she hugs it, she can feel it's heart beating. And then they got to step on the pedals and control how much stuffing went in to them. You get to create the birth certificate and register them. If you ever find an animal that was made at a Build-A-Bear, take it in to the nearest shop, there is always a tag put inside the animal when it is being stuffed that they scan and can find out who the owner is and mail it back to them. Best part ever. And you know, the price of the stuff there is not bad at all, I was expecting to spent a ton of money but it was pretty inexpensive. We might have to make it a birthday tradition, lol.  

 Then from there we did more rides in the Nickelodeon park, which is smack dab right in the center of the mall. I remember when it used to be Camp Snoopy :  (  Bug got to meet Spongebob and Patrick and get a few souvenirs and my son somehow won a prize from the carnies when I was unable to. The whole "toss the plastic ball into the plastic hole" thing is deceiving just so everyone knows...After about two hours in there we decided to call it quits and walk around the mall. Which was fun until the tiredness kicked in. Being up for 36 hours at this point, I felt old, off balance, and tired beyond tired. Made me wish I was a teen again, I could have been up for two days and still never felt a thing...

 So as we were leaving, my sister-in-law and her boyfriend invited us over to his house for dinner. And off we went! I felt awful because it was pretty last minute and I didn't want his family to go through any trouble cooking for us but I have to say, I am now in love with the food! His family is Laotian. We got to eat Khao poon (a spicy soup made with chicken, noodles, chilies and other ingredients I don't remember, but it's very good), som tam (a spicy papaya salad type dish, not made with lettuce or the kind of salad you are thinking of), sticky rice ( my favorite!) and a dish made with fish. It was so good and hard to stop eating. They eat on a little table on the floor with chopsticks and it was so fun! The language is beautiful and they treated us like family. The only thing that made me nervous is that they lived in the ghetto. Which is weird because I never knew Minneapolis even had a ghetto part. But it was so familiar feeling because it made us feel like we were back in California. I miss the multicultural backgrounds everywhere and I became extremely envious when two blocks down, we passed a synagogue! 

 So by the time we got back last night and into bed, it was a total of 40 hours of straight awakeness. I don't even remember my head hitting the pillow, that's how fast I went out. Waking up at 7 this morning was a bit disappointing but refreshing and convenient since breakfast was downstairs. The kidlets ate twice! And then we got to go swimming for a bit. My son hates the pool and loves the hot tub. Very fearless and on the crazy side. Bug loves swimming and jumping in over and over again. It was such a workout that I laid Ignacio down and put on his clothes only to find he had fallen asleep on me! LoL. Poor guy. 

 So after naptime, we plan on heading out and discovering the town we are in, which is 20 miles away from Minneapolis. Not far at all but far enough so that it's smaller and quieter. We like that. Today is just going to be chill. It'll be time to leave tomorrow and so much to do when we get home that I can't repeat the up for 40 hour thing again. I'll be glad when next weekend hits, Husband will be home finally. He gets OJT (on-the-job-training) for the next 6 months, and then after that he comes back here for one week, takes the big test and if he passes, he will be an engineer :D 

 Now I'm closing this down and going to take a nap too. It's what all the cool kids are doing right now, might as well join 'em :) 

 Have a wonderful weekend! 

 * Beckie * 

Take That Computers!

I sent Husband off to the cities a week ago with my laptop, thinking that I wouldn't miss it, and the break would give me time to get things done around the house that I have been neglecting. Well, the second part is true. The first? Kind of not true...
I have been craving a blog moment. I haven't written in awhile and even though I don't have much to say that is classified as uber important, I definitely miss saying it. And so I downloaded the special blogger app, because the twit site wouldn't let me blog from it, and here I am    : )
One week into Husband being gone and so far, it's been fine. We talk twice a day, not very long because neither of us like talking on the phone, but we accomplish the daily catching up. The kids are doing good, they are used to daddy being gone so it doesn't affect them terribly. I don't know if that's actually a good thing or bad...At the end of this week, I've decided to visit him for a few days though. It's Bug's birthday so we will be visiting the greatest mall ever: Mall Of America. Doing the theme park inside, visiting the aquarium, eating at Bubba Gump's and the Rainforest Cafe, and doing some shopping and building of a few bears fir some birthday kidlets   : )  My SIL and her son are joining us so it is looking like a very fun weekend.
One of my favorite shows started up last night, Sister Wives. I like different and this definitely is. I am the most open minded person I know. And that is one quality (probably the only one!) that I give credit to my mother for. Love everyone and respect whatever they do, and whoever they are, no matter what. I guess growing up as a child of a lesbian helped teach that too. I learned to fight because people bullied me. I learned to be mean, sarcastic and to push people away, so they couldn't hurt me. I paid a big price for my mother's life decisions and never fully understood why. But I accepted it. And learned to never judge or discriminate. Once you've been on the wrong side of that, trust me, you will learn fast.
My fascination with the Brown's is more of amazement and sympathy. These people face judgement, discrimination, fear, and yet hold together with love and their faith. Just because other people may not believe it's right according to their beliefs, doesn't give them the right to judge others or tell them it's wrong. That's unfair and wrong. Only God can judge and until that time, let people be and just love them and be their friend. One favorite fact of that family is to look at one man is married to four women and for long periods of time for three of them, yet over half the population of the US has been divorced how many times? If I wasn't such a jealous person I'd think a second wife for the husband would rock. Free babysitter, babies that I could give back and loads of help with housecleaning! lol joking, joking.
Another show I'm enjoying is of course Survivor. I adore reality shows and this has been a favorite for many years. And Ozzy being on it again doesn't hurt either  ; )
My Bug is doing well at school so far. She never has difficulty and every so often I get to go sub and spend a day with her and the rest of the class, which is loads of fun. She also started Awana and does awesome with it. Last year she got every patch, completed her book and even got perfect attendance twice. This year will more than likely be the same. I firmly believe that if you are going to do something, do it to the best of your ability or don't bother at all. And she sticks to this thankfully.
Bean is...Bean. Playing and being a boy. Cute as ever but curious as a cat! How pathetic is it that I call this two year old to kill a spider or bug for me when I'm trapped in the bathroom? LoL. He's my mini hero, what can I say  : )
Well, this is where I must end things. It's time to start showers, verse memorizing, bedtime readings, prayers, a load of laundry and then an hour of glorious me time, where I turn off my TV and my phone and read and do my devotionals. It boosts my mood so much! So bloggy friends, have a wonderful night  as well and I will be posting my next blog during our Minneapolis adventure! Until then, toodles!

Sing Me A Lullaby ZzZzZz

 I can not believe how tired one can be after a day of massive errands. Am I the only mother of two who is worn out by her kidlets, shopping, driving and usual errand running-ness? I remember the days when I used to get out of school on a Friday, jump in the car with the boyfriend, and drive the hour drive just to hit the mall, to shop and eat, only to come home around 1 in the morning and still not sleep for a few hours. Yet now, I start out much earlier, get home much earlier and am ready for bed around 9. When did I get so....so....OLD?!?
 We ventured out today for a Minot run. It's an hour's worth of a drive but driving on a donut made it even longer. I saved massive amounts of gas by driving 55 mph though so it wasn't all bad. Once there I took care of a few maintenance needs, needed by my vehicle first and then took off for the shopping next. My favorite stop being of course, Barnes and Noble. I could spend hours (and hundreds of dollars too I might add!) just in that store alone. My husband bought me a Kindle a few months ago and even though I am constantly putting books on there, I still can't refuse actual books and turning of pages. Today I let the kids pick out a book a piece and then hunted down some books that I have been looking for ever since we read them in the 8th grade. Maus by Art Spiegelman. They aren't really books in a sense, more like comic books but without the comic-ness. Books told by his father to him about surviving the Holocaust. In my eighth grade English class, everything we read, wrote or learned about centered around the Holocaust. My teacher being Jewish felt it necessary to teach us what most teachers hide. That was the year we met an actual Holocaust survivor and heard his gruesome tale of how he and his family survived by laying in his neighbors attic for four years. We visited the Holocaust memorial museum in Hollywood, which was so powerful even the biggest jock/jerk was seen crying in a corner. And I learned more about myself and my background than ever before. Which face it, is always kind of important  ; )
 It is my mission to teach my children as much as I can about their heritages and backgrounds. To visit the country where our family came from (Poland) and what they went through. It's fascinating but very humbling.
 The main purpose for today was to pick up birthday gifts for the kids. I was going to throw a party but I cancelled thinking that I've done a big thing for them every year, it would be nice to just chill on year, before Hannah gets into actual school and the parties are a necessity. And with Abel's paychecks getting cut for a few months now, it kind of helps save a little cash. I feel pretty awesome about it because I am not stressed out, I'm not cleaning or super exhausted (well more than usual that is) and no leftover cake!  : D  We got the yearly number pictures done and then Sunday we are doing more birthday photos with a friend of ours who has amazing talent with a camera. I bought a new printer, ink and paper so I am ready to get photos out, I am THAT excited and ready. And then things can chill out before Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Hannukah :))

98 shopping days left people!

 I can't tell what is more obnoxious, the sound of my cat meowing or the tune of Power Rangers on my TV. On that note, it's time to head off. Husband comes home tomorrow afternoon, we are letting the kids open his gifts and then I get to work a few hours and then spend the rest of the time with him. Then Sunday morning bright and early he jets off for three weeks in Minneapolis. If I can get my busted windshield fixed in time, I may run away there for a weekend. *fingers crossed!*
 Have a fabulous night everyone! Thanks for listening to me ramble  : )

Crazy chaos once again

 Silly me for expecting life to settle down just a little bit! It seems as if God has a much different plan set out for us ...
 Husband works on the railroad right now. Been on it for about three years now. It's alright, the company has a very bad habit of taking advantage of it's employees and treating them pretty bad. But husband loves what he does and even more so, really digs the guys (and one gal) he works with as well. And you can't beat the pay unless you are an oil worker...He has enough seniority to hold a job in a yard at one of their many depots. Currently working in Canada during the night shift and he is able to come home for two days a week, it's pretty decent. But yesterday, I had to call him and let him know a very unexpected thing happened: he got forced to engineer school. He leaves next Monday for 3 weeks in Minnesota to begin the hardest class and training that he's ever had. A 300 question test to take and if he fails, he will be fired. And he has no choice but to go whether he wants to or not, which is actually the worse part. If he says no, he loses his job. If he passes this big test and survives the three weeks then he continues on with around six months of on the job training. Which means  a drastic pay cut the whole time he is OJT. Granted, after he becomes a full fledged engineer, everything will be worth it and very increased paychecks. But these next six months are going to suuuuck ...
 Even not being that close to any religion or God at the moment, I still know that He is up to something. I'm one of those people who can be a total control freak. As long as I have total control of the situation and know what is going to happen, I'm good with it. So letting go of control and letting God do His thing is very difficult. Well I've been waiting for God to catch my attention with something, might as well be this.
 So for the next week I get to pack my husband up for three weeks worth of living, get him stocked up of dry food that doesn't need cooked, and get his paperwork all in order for him to go. I also am sadly saying goodbye to my laptop since he needs to use it over there for online studying and classwork. Guess I will be reading more!  : )
 So life is spicing up for us for a bit, this oughta be reeeeal fun. But we will make it through. Whether Abel is meant to be an engineer or not, there is a plan. You have to let go, give the wheel to God and enjoy the ride because in the end, it's what is best for you.
 Have a wonderful weekend readers! Until next time,

Different Direction.

 I'm not normally a negative person but last night was a bit freeing. I am, after all, human as we all are, and I do have my moments where I'm not always bubbly and smiley. *gasp* I know, shocking isn't it? What makes it nice is that my friends and family accept it and love me even on the bad days. Now THAT'S love right there.
 So now that I had my one word rampage of the month, I decided to do something I have been meaning to for the past year. My friend Kat http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/  has a pretty awesome blog and she does a little Writing Workshop on it (amongst other things) and I have been wanting to pick it up at least once a week and attempt it. Last night's should have doubled up for the "You're so vain you probably think this is about you" prompt because I had a few e-mails and comments that made me curious about those who didn't write me and were they, hopefully, taking a hint? The purpose behind it was not to accuse but to make aware. No one is always aware of the way they are or the things they do, (or maybe they are and just enjoy being jack-asses, whatever).
 So instead for today, I chose 'First Day of School Photos'. Seeing as we just had one of those last week and I did end up writing somewhat about it last night. I may as well put out a little photo delicacy of my gorgeous Bug.

 I'm pretty partial but she is pretty darn gorgeous. And was so very excited too. First day of school, new outfit, seeing her teachers, meeting new friends and the very popular, annual First-Day-Of-School-Mommy-Date afterwards to share what happened that day. We have a Mommy Date about once a month but this one is VERY special. I love the first day of school because of how special it is. It's just a momentous occasion that was always about the excitement of the new classes, the people, new and old, the new teachers and the excitement of what's for lunch. Those were what marked my first days of school at least. My mother was never emotionally part of my life, so one of my goals of being a mother is to be present in every aspect of Hannah's life. Stalker is the more popular word for it I do believe? LoL!
 So there you have it. Our first day of school photo and a little tidbit as well. Hope you enjoyed! See yah!

Wrong Time.

 Caution, this can get bitchy. Stop reading if you are a prude, can't handle some else's opinion, or don't understand sarcasm or take hints....

 I believe in the power of prayer even when one is not at the top of their game religious wise. And yesterday, God had me practically on my knees begging for help. I may not be a military wife yet, but a railroader's wife does have a few things in common with one. Like for example, single parenting. There are two of us but only one on most days. My husband is on a turn that let's him be home for only two days in a row every week and one of them is spent sleeping since he is working night shifts and has to drive about three hours to work and three hours back. So that makes it difficult for me when I have to work, yet come up short for babysitters. Oh I know, I work part-time, what a horrible parent am I. Boohoo, shut the hell up. (I warned you....) I enjoy having spending money. The money my husband makes belongs to him, the bills and whatever the kids need. I still after six years feel guilty for spending his money on me. So I don't. So I decided to get a job this year and it pays well. So this momma gets to buy new clothes, books, and whatever else I want. And not feel guilty either. So pffft...Anyways. So I ran into a dilemma of not having a babysitter tonight and felt extremely blessed and saved when two wonderful friends of mine came to my rescue. Bug went to a friend's house and my Bean stayed home and ran crazy. I have been reminded tonight that even the smallest favors to one are actually the biggest to another. I need to always remember that.
 It was nice talking with my friend when I came home with Bug. Catching up on life is always nice, especially with someone who not only understands but comes at you with complete love and grace. She would walk through fire for an enemy, that is how awesome she is. And I'm not sucking up, I'm being honest. I feel like a better person just for talking to her kind of thing. It's weird, whatever. So anyways. It was nice because while chatting, she made me feel not so guilty for things I have been feeling. My biggest pet peeve, or one of them rather is hypocrites. Oh! And people who think they are better than others. I may judge but I NEVER discuss it with anyone, I never hold it against anyone, and by the next day, I'm over it, it's done. Yet, there are people out there who irk me because it seems as if they are always better than most. Someone does something they don't agree with, that someone is wrong. They will find a reason as to why it's wrong and why they are too good for it. Or a person lives their life a different way than others believe. So what right? Oh but if it isn't the way it should be lived according to this person, it's wrong. I get tired of people holding things against one another for no reason at all.
 If you read this than let me stop here and explain to you very slowly, this is MY life. Not yours. If I do something you don't like, so what? You aren't my husband or God so pfffft. If I raise my children differently than you raise yours, so what? It doesn't make you a better person because of the things we do differently, we just raise our children differently. No one is a perfect parent and just because something works for you, doesn't mean it will work for everyone else in the world. And trust me, you DON'T know it all. And Pfffft on you. If you feel the need to focus, judge and belittle any aspect of MY life or anyone else's, get a life. People need to quit obsessing over what everyone else is doing and how and get on with their own lives instead. Don't do things so you can flaunt them in other's faces, don't be an attention whore, constantly seeking praise, admiration, or attention of any kind, and please, quit thinking you might be better than someone else for any reason at all. Everyone's poop stinks, seriously. Pffffffffffffffft.
 Ugh. I wish people's parents would have explained life a little better. It would save me and a lot of other people the headaches....
 I'm such a coward. I wish I had the courage to come out and approach people and tell them ow I really feel. But I don't think I have enough grace. That and it would turn out to be some big pot of drama. On here, part of me is all bark. I can say what I want to just because I doubt anyone I know, other than my familia, reads this. But in person, I'm pretty shy (until you get to know me) and no matter what I'm smiley and nice. You could piss me off and I'd still smile and be nice to you. Such a coward....I'm tired of holding back, it's kinda nice to release. I have some wonderful friends back in Montana and even some here, who have been keeping me in check. It's so nice to know that despite how busy life gets and whatever goes on, you can count on some people to unload on in a time of craziness and know that they will always love you and always be there for you. <3
 Sooo other than my venting, what else is going on...
 My Bug started school once again. No tears for me this year since we already did that last year. And she is loving it so far which is always a nice thing. She does really well in school and catches on to things pretty quickly so it makes it nice and easy. She makes friends easily and listens really well to the teachers. And she is definitely a morning person, lol. Cheerful and sing-songy in the mornings. Ugh, takes after her father...We got our school shopping done easily and quickly which was a first. She got only a few new outfits this year since she grows so fast I don't buy brand new clothes but for special occasions. These will probably only last 6 months before the next growth spurt, I swear! And we did a first for her by letting her chop off her hair. 9 inches gone and donated and she loves it which I secretly hate. She looks older with short hair and even though she's beautiful with it, I hate it. I want her to have long hair :( I can't help it and really don't care to either.
 Bean and I chill at home while Bug is at home. We have our whole routine down already and it makes it so nice to deal with the normal day to day stuff. It's hard to watch him get older and thinking about him going to school in another year or two is so hard to think of. If life wasn't so crazy right now, we'd be filling out adoption forms and crossing fingers. I think my house needs more feets running around...
 Husband left this morning for Canada. He'll be gone until Saturday now. I'm not a clingy wife. I actually enjoy our time apart. It makes me thankful for him and more appreciative of the time we have together. And it has made me into such a strong and independent person. Besides, clingy people bug me. I met a gal a few weeks ago at work that was practically sobbing because she wouldn't get to see her husband until the next day. I stood there dumbly and watched her go on and on about how awful it was. I nodded my head politely and walked away after she was done and just thought, wow. Like seriously, wow. Pathetic in some ways. If you can't be an optimist in a situation, then when you are stuck in your pity party, it's your own fault. And there really is a bright spot in EVERY situation. Such as, when Husband is gone, I have all my Netflix movies push past his and get to watch them while he isn't here to complain about them. I get to read a book during the day whenever I want to, I can skip a day of cleaning, I get complete control of the channel changer, I don't have to answer to anyone if I take the kids to the park for a few hours, dinner can be a little late, the dogs can sneak inside for a bit, the toilet lid stays up (Epic win!) I can wear pjs during the day, annnnnnnnd...I can get a nap! I could keep going and going with this honestly. It's like a mini vacay kind of. You just gotta know how to look at it and how to keep yourself occupied. If you throw yourself a pity party, be prepared to be the only one attending.
 Anyways, I had to work tonight and even though it was fun, it was busy and long so I'm going to go draw a bath and read (Something rarely done!) and then head to bed. I feel so much better now that I vented. I'm human, I vent. Hopefully that spiced it up a bit and that you walked away with something learned. Orrrrr you keep behaving the same way you do now, whatever. Odds are the people that should read this, won't and those who do shouldn't. :) Either way, you were warned. Now go to bed!

Random Bit Of Info-Just Because

 Three posts in to this blog-adventure and I realized that I haven't quite put down the usual who am I and what do I do sort of thing. This is mostly for my family who is spread apart and for friends if they get bored or nosy, but I have and will pick up some new followers along the way soo I'll jot down some history for you so you have a better picture of my family and I.
 So I am married. To a handsome and amazing man who we will refer to as Husband or Abel in my posts. We got married in June 2005 after 28 days of dating. Yes, you heard right, 28 days. We only met in January of that year as well, lol. But hey, it works what can I say? We lived in Montana for a few years where we had our daughter Hannah in October of 2006. (No I was not pregnant when we married! We saved ourselves until after that thanks!) Abel built log homes and I worked in a grocery store and at the hospital as a CNA. Fast forward about 5 years later where we skip the boring parts such as work and and the various misc. stuff that goes on. We find ourselves in North Dakota where Husband is a conductor on the railroad and I am a part-time stay at home momma and part time bartender. Husband is gone for about two to three days as he travels from where we live, to Canada. We also now have a son, Ignacio, who is now 2 and a fun ball of terror yet cute as cute can be. Hannah goes to Head Start for her final year and Ignacio and I hang out unless I have to go to work.
 We are somewhat a Christian family. I say somewhat because Abel is definitely one, and the kids and I are Jewish. But with some Christian beliefs. It makes for a complicated yet fun mess. I observe the major holidays and do sit Shiva when it was needed, and neither the kids or I eat pork. We adjust with turkey. And I dislike people who don't like Jews. Strongly. And if you're racist, don't let me know, because I'll go off on you too.
 I tend to be stubborn and somewhat opinionated. I enjoy a good debate though. But I'm always happy and smiley (at least on the outside). I don't believe in throwing pity parties and that being negative or down is not fair to anyone else. I tough everything out because I don't like weakness. And I'm easy to please but it is very difficult to earn my trust. I'm sarcastic, funny and always up for a good time. And I tend to ramble and have spelling errors. I may not always be upfront but I am always honest.
 So I hope that's all the random bit of info needed at this time. Because, well honestly? That's all you're getting.
 *Beckie*

Change-It!

 So it looks as if I may be changing my blog name from hooah to hoorah, which is from an unexpected change of events. My husband never even attempted signing up with the Marine Corps because he had been told their cut off age is 28 and he is a year past that, actually, almost two! But a few days ago he got a phone call from the Marine Corps recruiter and it looks as it his path to the military has shifted a bit. We are in the process of now enrolling him into college where he will be a full time student for only a semester, he needs only 15 credits and then he will be receiving an age waiver and enlisting into the Marine Corps instead of the Army. He is even more excited about this than he was about the Army and I couldn't be prouder. My father was a Marine, and now my husband will be one too, I think it's cool. Plus, I'm sorry to all the other branches out there but there is nothing hotter than a man in those dress blues. LoL!
 It's weird when I think where life in the Marine Corps could and would take us. I know for sure Abel will hit Twentynine Palms at least once. Which is 20 miles from Yucca Valley which is where I moved from when I moved to Montana and met Abel. That was home. Some of my family is still there so it wouldn't be all bad to go back. Plus we would be back in California and hey, that much closer to civilization. I really do miss my palm trees, date trees and Palm Springs at night. I also think of the fun things such as the Marine Corps balls, the base living, and still, the opportunities being brought to us. Abel would look good in the uniform, lol.
 So this next step is going to be a tad stressful. I'm giving up my semester in college to put Abel in and help him with his work and stuff and then after he gets in I will start my schooling. I look forward to that one anyways, at least mine will be paid for and less stress in that area. So my life with two people in school at this point should be loads of fun! Until then, I'm off for a haircut and cleaning, which used to be the busiest part of my day! Hah!

*Beckie*

Our Decision. Your Thoughts. Ouch!

 I like to live on the naive side of life. I like not knowing certain things and pretending that things are great even when they aren't. I'm one of those awful people who own a TV and yet hasn't watched a single news broadcast in over two years. I don't read newspapers or magazines that don't have People, Oprah, Martha, or Taste of Home, in the titles. I choose not to put that stress in my life. Trust me, my life has plenty of stress without adding more. But when we came out of our "military" closet, life has gone quickly from exciting and adventurous to whoops! in almost no time. Only our good friends come and tell us what they really feel and think. The rest hide behind closed doors. Or our backs. I blissfully was not anticipating the negative side of this...

 It's not that I'm frustrated at the people but more of how they think. And how they assume we know nothing about the choices we have made. They think that just because we announced my husband's joining the Army a few days ago, that means that we decided in 3.2 seconds about it. Trust me everyone, we have been married for six years and the military has been discussed and analyzed for that long. This was no rash decision. Yes we do realize husband could be deployed or even killed while serving. But isn't that true of flying on an airplane or driving in traffic anymore? And yes I realize that the chances are higher in the military than on a two way highway in North Dakota, I was speaking sarcastically. Husband and I know where we are going when we die. Death happens. Yes I would be broken hearted and yes I would miss him always. But if I lived my life in constant fear of him dying, I would have him locked up in a room for always. Good luck on that. Yes the pay is being scrutinized with a chance of being cut. Yes even if it isn't cut it isn't the greatest pay rate. But sometimes, the best jobs, the ones we truly love and do well, are the ones that pay almost nothing. I'd rather my husband do what makes him happy and do it well rather than be miserable doing a meaningless job. Money truly isn't everything and now that our debt is almost cleared up, I finally believe that  ; )  My husband could be gone for a year or eighteen months, our marriage could end, why would I want that? I never, ever said that I wanted my marriage to end or that it would. The one thing I hold proud is that I don't believe in divorces. Ever. Everything in a marriage is fixable. Trust me, we have seen a lot in our six year marriage. A lot that would make most marriages crumble. Ours didn't and won't. Trust me. We hold onto our vows. And honestly, husband and I get along better when we don't see each other everyday. I don't do clingy and neither does he. 

 My point is that I listen to everyone's concerns and while I appreciate that you care enough to be concerned, I appreciate not being treated as a 13 year old all over again. We have thought and prayed over every aspect of our decision. And the result is that we found way more positives than negatives. When we move to wherever the Army wants husband stationed, it will be new and exciting and so many more opportunities. We are three hours away from the nearest synagogue. I wouldn't even call it that as the rabbis are all rabbis from other places who only visit once a month and not during the summer. I'm sure wherever we go (especially if on the east coast) we will finally be near one, my kids can begin their learning and life, religious-wise will be great! My kids will have the chance to join in activities such as gymnastics, karate, sports, or clubs like the Boy's & Girl's Club. Small town life just isn't for me anymore, what can I say? 

 Oi it sounds like I'm ungrateful or hate my town. I don't. I love this town. Sure the drama and gossip gets old. And yes, winter sucks. No lie. But it's so nice knowing everyone and knowing how safe you are. Where else can you leave your car running and unlocked while you go grocery shopping? Or go fifteen years without ever locking your doors to your house? It's great! But it's time for a change...

 We are still making baby steps to this and taking things one day at a time. Life is still going on. Work for both of us is still stressful but still paying the bills so why complain? School shopping is gong to be commencing in another week for Bug. Beanie is going to be getting his birthday pictures done and I have to begin the process of planning some friends' baby showers and the kidlets' birthday party. Halloween preparations have begun as well! Mommy-hood sure is exciting these days. Busy, a little on the stressful side but all for the good excitement : )

 

The beginning.

 I hate cell phone contracts. The idea of being stuck with the same phone, the same contract, same company for two whole years, makes me sweat. Same thing with my satellite contract. What if I decide later that my service sucks and I can find better? Nope! Stuck with it, too bad. Or how about credit cards. You know once you buy something with it, that's pretty much it. Good luck on ever paying it off and once you do, even better luck at not spending anything so you can end the relationship. Well not quite, I mean who would honestly want to end such a fabulous thing that begins with the simple phrase "Charge it!" and for one blissfully stress free month, you can pretend you own something without paying for it? Scratch that, that doesn't count. Ahh parenthood. The one "Contract" that you are never free from. Scary right?
 So here I am writing about how excited I am about my husband's decision to join the military and I can't help but wonder why exactly, am I nervous about signing contracts and promising my life and money to companies for certain periods and yet the thought of my husband doing this, doesn't phase me a bit?
 I grew up living near Marine Corps bases all my life. My father served 25 years in the Marine Corps and then retired and we stayed close for the benefits. And comfort I suppose. I know the way of life for a Marine family, and I grew up with lots of military friends. My family has al been in the military at some point and I would have too had I not gotten pregnant with my daughter. There isn't much that someone can tell me about the military that will send me running. So it's nice to be able to come out with our news and have everyone shocked right now instead of asking too many questions as if we hadn't thought them out ourselves. My only hope is that people understand that yes being in the military means sacrifices of all kinds, time, distance, friends, family and even lives. A soldier doesn't make millions of dollars and it doesn't lead you to fame. But the pride it brings, the lessons you learn, and being a part of the military family means more to some people than all the gold in the world.
 So far life isn't going to change. Things are staying the same old, same old way. We both keep on working, Bug, my five year old daughter, is starting her last year of Head Start while Beanie, my two year old son, will be continuing his reign of terror as boys tend to do. We don't know when Husband will be "getting in" or when he will be leaving for boot camp. Nothing is life is guaranteed and you certainly can't plan much out based on the military, that much I do know. So for now life keeps on keeping on and until we know more, that's how it shall remain.