Wrong Time.

 Caution, this can get bitchy. Stop reading if you are a prude, can't handle some else's opinion, or don't understand sarcasm or take hints....

 I believe in the power of prayer even when one is not at the top of their game religious wise. And yesterday, God had me practically on my knees begging for help. I may not be a military wife yet, but a railroader's wife does have a few things in common with one. Like for example, single parenting. There are two of us but only one on most days. My husband is on a turn that let's him be home for only two days in a row every week and one of them is spent sleeping since he is working night shifts and has to drive about three hours to work and three hours back. So that makes it difficult for me when I have to work, yet come up short for babysitters. Oh I know, I work part-time, what a horrible parent am I. Boohoo, shut the hell up. (I warned you....) I enjoy having spending money. The money my husband makes belongs to him, the bills and whatever the kids need. I still after six years feel guilty for spending his money on me. So I don't. So I decided to get a job this year and it pays well. So this momma gets to buy new clothes, books, and whatever else I want. And not feel guilty either. So pffft...Anyways. So I ran into a dilemma of not having a babysitter tonight and felt extremely blessed and saved when two wonderful friends of mine came to my rescue. Bug went to a friend's house and my Bean stayed home and ran crazy. I have been reminded tonight that even the smallest favors to one are actually the biggest to another. I need to always remember that.
 It was nice talking with my friend when I came home with Bug. Catching up on life is always nice, especially with someone who not only understands but comes at you with complete love and grace. She would walk through fire for an enemy, that is how awesome she is. And I'm not sucking up, I'm being honest. I feel like a better person just for talking to her kind of thing. It's weird, whatever. So anyways. It was nice because while chatting, she made me feel not so guilty for things I have been feeling. My biggest pet peeve, or one of them rather is hypocrites. Oh! And people who think they are better than others. I may judge but I NEVER discuss it with anyone, I never hold it against anyone, and by the next day, I'm over it, it's done. Yet, there are people out there who irk me because it seems as if they are always better than most. Someone does something they don't agree with, that someone is wrong. They will find a reason as to why it's wrong and why they are too good for it. Or a person lives their life a different way than others believe. So what right? Oh but if it isn't the way it should be lived according to this person, it's wrong. I get tired of people holding things against one another for no reason at all.
 If you read this than let me stop here and explain to you very slowly, this is MY life. Not yours. If I do something you don't like, so what? You aren't my husband or God so pfffft. If I raise my children differently than you raise yours, so what? It doesn't make you a better person because of the things we do differently, we just raise our children differently. No one is a perfect parent and just because something works for you, doesn't mean it will work for everyone else in the world. And trust me, you DON'T know it all. And Pfffft on you. If you feel the need to focus, judge and belittle any aspect of MY life or anyone else's, get a life. People need to quit obsessing over what everyone else is doing and how and get on with their own lives instead. Don't do things so you can flaunt them in other's faces, don't be an attention whore, constantly seeking praise, admiration, or attention of any kind, and please, quit thinking you might be better than someone else for any reason at all. Everyone's poop stinks, seriously. Pffffffffffffffft.
 Ugh. I wish people's parents would have explained life a little better. It would save me and a lot of other people the headaches....
 I'm such a coward. I wish I had the courage to come out and approach people and tell them ow I really feel. But I don't think I have enough grace. That and it would turn out to be some big pot of drama. On here, part of me is all bark. I can say what I want to just because I doubt anyone I know, other than my familia, reads this. But in person, I'm pretty shy (until you get to know me) and no matter what I'm smiley and nice. You could piss me off and I'd still smile and be nice to you. Such a coward....I'm tired of holding back, it's kinda nice to release. I have some wonderful friends back in Montana and even some here, who have been keeping me in check. It's so nice to know that despite how busy life gets and whatever goes on, you can count on some people to unload on in a time of craziness and know that they will always love you and always be there for you. <3
 Sooo other than my venting, what else is going on...
 My Bug started school once again. No tears for me this year since we already did that last year. And she is loving it so far which is always a nice thing. She does really well in school and catches on to things pretty quickly so it makes it nice and easy. She makes friends easily and listens really well to the teachers. And she is definitely a morning person, lol. Cheerful and sing-songy in the mornings. Ugh, takes after her father...We got our school shopping done easily and quickly which was a first. She got only a few new outfits this year since she grows so fast I don't buy brand new clothes but for special occasions. These will probably only last 6 months before the next growth spurt, I swear! And we did a first for her by letting her chop off her hair. 9 inches gone and donated and she loves it which I secretly hate. She looks older with short hair and even though she's beautiful with it, I hate it. I want her to have long hair :( I can't help it and really don't care to either.
 Bean and I chill at home while Bug is at home. We have our whole routine down already and it makes it so nice to deal with the normal day to day stuff. It's hard to watch him get older and thinking about him going to school in another year or two is so hard to think of. If life wasn't so crazy right now, we'd be filling out adoption forms and crossing fingers. I think my house needs more feets running around...
 Husband left this morning for Canada. He'll be gone until Saturday now. I'm not a clingy wife. I actually enjoy our time apart. It makes me thankful for him and more appreciative of the time we have together. And it has made me into such a strong and independent person. Besides, clingy people bug me. I met a gal a few weeks ago at work that was practically sobbing because she wouldn't get to see her husband until the next day. I stood there dumbly and watched her go on and on about how awful it was. I nodded my head politely and walked away after she was done and just thought, wow. Like seriously, wow. Pathetic in some ways. If you can't be an optimist in a situation, then when you are stuck in your pity party, it's your own fault. And there really is a bright spot in EVERY situation. Such as, when Husband is gone, I have all my Netflix movies push past his and get to watch them while he isn't here to complain about them. I get to read a book during the day whenever I want to, I can skip a day of cleaning, I get complete control of the channel changer, I don't have to answer to anyone if I take the kids to the park for a few hours, dinner can be a little late, the dogs can sneak inside for a bit, the toilet lid stays up (Epic win!) I can wear pjs during the day, annnnnnnnd...I can get a nap! I could keep going and going with this honestly. It's like a mini vacay kind of. You just gotta know how to look at it and how to keep yourself occupied. If you throw yourself a pity party, be prepared to be the only one attending.
 Anyways, I had to work tonight and even though it was fun, it was busy and long so I'm going to go draw a bath and read (Something rarely done!) and then head to bed. I feel so much better now that I vented. I'm human, I vent. Hopefully that spiced it up a bit and that you walked away with something learned. Orrrrr you keep behaving the same way you do now, whatever. Odds are the people that should read this, won't and those who do shouldn't. :) Either way, you were warned. Now go to bed!