Flowers, trees and busy little bees

Sunny days always make life better :) It's finally been nice for a weekend and we have made it incredibly busy and now I sit here trying to attempt a few loads of laundry that I have put off all weekend :O I'm also going to attempt to catch up and post a project that I halfways finished (Finished one, need to do the other) and to post about my current big project. Which gives me fabulous happiness :D First, I am on my last week of work. I quit my job to transfer to another department which means higher pay and a lot more time spent with the residents which is what I will love the most. I am excited but at the same time I am kind of sad to leave the people I work with. Some of them are pretty awesome and make work fun. Others drive me up a wall but at least they make work exciting : l This helps put me a step further in deciding what I want to be when I grow up. I'm beginning to think that since I have spent a total of ten years in nursing home settings, I'm maybe meant for that area. I love residents. They have so many exciting stories, they share love so easily and it is so wonderful to have a bond with them. People take our older generations for granted and I try not to. And trust me, they laugh more than most young people I know. So, this was my weekend project a few weeks ago and I am so happy with the result. It actually turned out better than I thought it would. I made a topsy turvy planter that I had seen on pinterest with a friend's help. A LOT of help actually, lol.
We began with four small, ceramic pots and a larger one for the base. We also used ten wingnuts, ten washers, and a long pole that the wingnuts can screw onto. Not slide on, screw on. You'll have to excuse me for not knowing the actual, technical name of the pole, lol. Of course, you need five plants, or more or less depending on how many pots you are using. I went with five with mine. And also potting soil mix and dirt too.
We started by placing the pole inside the biggest pot and screwed a washer first and then a wingnut on the underside of the pot. We also put a washer and a wingut on the inside of the pot as well. Makes it sturdy. Then we filled it in with dirt and packed it down. And then a few inches above our first pot we began stacking. Wingnut first, washer next, and then the pot. We tilted the pot a little and then dropped on another washer and then screwed on a wingnut but not so tight. The tighter you screw down the nut, the less it would tilt. The whole thing is wobbly of course so I advise not to move it too much. Create this where you want it permanently. Or you can always gorilla glue or liquid nail the pots together once you get the tilt effect how you want it. I went with the liquid nails. Our wind here is crazy and we tend to get tornado-like winds as well as the actual tornados.
It was more fun then this photo shows, I hate pictures but alas I post photos of everything else, why not one of me? LoL.
And here is the final result! It turned out great and looks really awesome outside my front steps. I bought the same exact flowers and supplies for the next one I'm going to make and am planning on putting it on the other side of my steps now. But my favorite flower is the one on top, my gerbera daisy. As well as the moss roses in the middle. I have discovered I like flowers :)

My next project is to fix up my front yard a bit. My father's second death-aversary just passed in May and I stared at my house one day wondering what the heck I was doing with life and why I was letting things run away in chaos. Life sometimes has a way of doing that to us sometimes. And I am the type of person where I have to be in control even when I know, I'm not supposed to be. If I don't feel in control of pretty much everything in some form or another, I let my anxiety surface and it doesn't fit me well. So I had to take a few moments and let go of a lot of things. A lot of emotions. And just a lot of constant stress. And then I had to find a focus. I needed a hobby. Or something other than work, housework, gym and family. So, I decided that each month, I have to try to do at least three new things. And how convenient that pinterest just happens to provide all kinds of new things?! So I have decided to take advantage of the summer months ahead and start working on my green thumb a little. So Husband bought me two of these beautiful trees and will be planting them this week as well as helping me plant all of my new flowers and going on a bird bath hunt :) I decided that will be the gem to my yard. Along with the bowling balls that are being transformed into ladybugs :) First coat of paint today :D And I went on an ant killing spree today, don't call PETA, I'm hateful I know. But I heard corn meal will end my ant problem. So I'm hoping the half box I sprinkled pretty much EVERYTWHERE in my yard, works. Pleeeeeeeease let it work! Ants are evil little bugs. And Husband has a new garden that we don't need eaten alive by the pests. And if anyone knows of a good bunny repellent, that'd be great too! I have a bunny that seems to enjoy pepper plant leaves. Husband has twelve pepper plants, nine of them are a different variety, all of them are hotter than a habanero. He has a thing for salsa and the hotter the better.
So I hope I posted something worth reading. My projects are fun but being able to post before and after pictures at the same time are even better. So I have my before pictures ready and anxiously await the post where both sets are put up :) Until then, have a wonderful week ahead and stay tuned for more boring drather... *Beckie*

Forgive My Mental Breakdown

So I'm too early for menopause, not man enough for a midlife crisis, and apparently too sane for a mental breakdown. What does a woman call it when she is having any of these?

 The flu bug of oh-twelve has come and gone. Not the most fun bug ever either, let me tell you. It started with the pain in my stomach and I have to stop and brag about my pain tolerating levels, and how supremely awesome they are, but this sort of pain folks, had me convinced I was dying. I swore there was something wrong with me and how I should probably have gone to the ER. But after I threw up a few times, I was like oooooh flu-bug, my bad, I guess I'm NOT dying. Whoa hypochondriac moment right? Then for the first time in history, I passed it to my husband and to my kidlets. Totally broke my heart about passing it to my kidlets, the husband I giggled about, I'll be honest. He always passes me his cold and flu crud, and had zero sympathy for me, so when he got it, I laughed. Totally had a "Haha, now you know how I felt, sucks don't it?" minute. But then I went and made him his lukewarm bath, cooked his soup and got him his fluffy bathrobe to sit in his chair with. I even let him pick the movies out to watch, see how nice I am? I'm not always so mean ;)

Yesterday I got Bean's acceptance letter in the mail for Head Start. We applied for the home based program, but apparently, thanks to our extremely piece of crap awesome government and their amazing budgeting skills, they cut that out of the program and also shut down a center and a few classes throughout the state. It's very sad when the government spends money poorly and ends up skimping out on the important areas such as our education...Anyways, so my son, my baby, is starting school this fall. They bumped him up into the center based instead. I should be happy about because there is always quite the waiting list and it is such an amazing program, but...I'm just not thrilled. My baby. Insert breakdown here, lol. The worst part about it is his excitement. He can not wait to go to "cool" and be a big kid like sister. He is pumped. I asked him today if he would just like to stay home and hang with me for another year and the glare I got pretty much spoke volumes. It's hilarious.

 Tomorrow some ladies and I are planning on getting together to do some yard DIY. Ladybugs out of bowling balls. Crooked tower of planters. That sort of thing. I will take pictures and post as well as pin. I need to badly do something with my yard, front and back. I just don't have the time. Good thing Husband is a awesome landscaper, he's going to take care of it for me :D He's been killing time doing landscaping and such around town for awhile. We are STILL dealing with railroad garbage and getting him back on. More and more people are coming forward with being colorblind so it looks like a matter of time before Husband gets back on. And we get major backpay for the whole time he has been off. :D :D :D YEs I'm greedy, I like my bills being paid, what can I say. I don't mind going through a bit of a stressful period because I know my rainbow is at the end and what a rainbow it will be UGH! I get frustrated because I get tired of seeing myself as well as others who work hard to do things the right way, who don't rely on anyone else or on the government in anyway, and who don't do things easy way out, end up screwed over in the end. Over pretty much anything nowadays. You are nice to people, they end up walking all over you. Meanwhile, people who are lazy, or who do things the wrong way and knowingly I might add, end up always okay. It sucks sometimes. But in the end, everything will be okay, and if it isn't okay right now, it just means it's not the end right? Right.

 So I ordered an outfit a few days ago. The one I'm wearing out for our anniversary. It's big for me. It's my deadline for my big weight loss extravaganza ( I love that word!) as well as the anniversary of our wedding, as well as something new, fabulous and sort of daring. I might put up a picture...It's super cute and totally not me, which is why I got it. I can't wait. I have lost fifteen pounds already in three weeks. I am completely disappointed in myself because I didn't work out very much this week. I blame the flu but I got lazy, I can't lie. So this weekend will be major workout jam and then back to my grueling schedule during the work week. 5am comes way too early no matter what time one gets up....

 Short and sweet and filled with absolutely nothing. That's how today's blog is. Just felt in the mood to write and jot something down and I accomplished that. So now I'm going to make you all jealous and go do a load of laundry. I might play with my new-to-me breadmaker that I just scored today. Make some yummy bread :)) I hope everyone has a fantabulous weekend, because no matter what, it is afterall the weekend :)) *Beckie*

Happy Mother's Day!

Such a little handprint. This is Bug's Mother's Day gift for me. Her teachers at Head Start helped her make this as well as purchased the supplies for her and her classmates to make these. It's one of the reasons I appreciate teachers, especially the ones at Head Start, they always go over and beyond. We have had two awesome years at Head Start and Thursday we watched as our Bug and the rest of her classmates put on a really cute presentation and finished their Head Start learning. I now live with a kindergartner :D I'm proud and excited buuuuut....It is very bittersweet. Not my baby anymore :( Pretty soon I will be blogging about her prom night and then graduation. Heartbreaking I tell you....

This is Ignacio's gift for me. The tag says that I'm tea-riffic <3 Bean is just not one into coloring yet. Partially because we suspect he is color blind like his father. Which totally sucks because I have like no idea how I am supposed to teach this boy his colors. THAT should be awesome *eye roll* But he was ever so sweet to me in giving me this and then later when he and Bug were outside playing and bringing me handfuls of dandelions.

I love that children are innocent and sweet. They just don't know how horrendous those "flowers" are, lol. But they are pretties and mommy needs them in her vase all of the time. And you just can't break their little hearts and tell them that these are not the type of flowers anyone really wants. Especially when they just have these beautiful faces and give you big hugs and a kiss on your cheek and tell you 'I love you mommy' in their sweet little voices. You take those flowers and put them in a vase and go overboard telling your babies how awesome they are because in all honesty, that is your children showing kindness, care, love, and everything wonderful that you want them to know in life. It's quite the awesome feeling :D

Mother's Day is in a day. Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers and grandmothers out there by the way! I love that we get an entire day of celebration for just doing what we do. I love that. Whether we are stay-at-home mothers, or working mothers. Whether we breastfeed or bottle feed. Whether we co-sleep or let them sleep in their cribs. Whether we cloth diaper or disposable diaper. Whether we let our children drink soda or whether they drink strictly nutritional drinks or just water. It doesn't matter how we do what we do, it's the fact that we do what we do because we think and feel it is the best way. Because all of us mothers have one thing in common: We want the very best for our children and try to do a good job at giving them that.

Tomorrow can be bittersweet to lots of moms out there including myself. It makes me think of my three babies who aren't here. Too many parents have lost their children far too early and I hate that. Despite God doing what is in His plan, He is still ripping out the hearts of mothers everywhere by doing just that. And it's hard watching parents out there not appreciating what they have and being lazy because there really are so many people out there who could be doing a lot better of a job but can't. I don't talk a lot about my angels because even as long as it has been, it is still hard. And unfair. And a lot of people don't know how to really deal with it. Unless you are one of those people who say things like, "But it's ok, you still have two kids, be grateful." Ouch! In that case, just hush and don't say anything at all....In my case, Ignacio was the last baby for me because I physically can't have anymore. In simple terms, I am allergic to hormones. I get very sick when I take birth control or any other medicine with added hormones. When I become pregnant my body throws blood clots until I miscarry. And with each time I get pregnant, it gets worse. I get sick and have to rely on medicine to make sure my blood doesn't shoot clots and it takes a toll on my body. So with Bean, I was advised to make sure he was my last baby and Husband bravely went and got a vasectomy three different ways.

Every mom has her miracle story, every child is a miracle all in itself. With Bug, I spent about eight months on bed rest. Everything that could go wrong, did. But she was a very easy delivery thank you Jesus. I had high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, PUPPP (Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy) except that it started in the very beginning of my second trimester and was full head to toe and folks, think Chicken Pox, but with no remedies. I would soak in hot baths twice a day and could hardly wear clothes or let anything touch my body, it was HORRIBLE! Bug also was an ectopic pregnancy. I was told to abort her, that she would not survive in any case but they didn't want to risk losing me or my lady parts. Obviously, we didn't abort her and a big HA! to the doctors who felt we should have. They told us her egg sac was misshapen due to her being ectopic and I would miscarry. Then after a few weeks of that, I had to hear how she was tearing away from my uterus and I would lose her then too. We dealt with a stressful pregnancy to say the very least. Then when it came time for delivery, she just didn't want to come out. I was actually a week overdue with her and thanks to my doctor having an important fishing trip, I was induced. I told my doctor that I was so fed up, that I would only allow three hours of labor and delivery. I was not sitting around for a day or two for this. He laughed at me. I was induced at 7pm on September 30th, began having contractions at 10pm, and at 12:38am on October first, Hannah made her entrance to this world. Two pushes. Zero pain meds before, during or after. I won. Less than three hours of labor. HA! Mutterings of a pregnant girl my butt...

Beanie was an easy pregnancy compared to Hannah. Gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, and luckily because I took some IV fluids in the first few weeks, everything was okay blood clot wise. I did have preterm labor a few times with him but he stayed in until I was thirty-eight weeks. He was breech from week fourteen on so we had a c-section with him. I was scared out of my mind but it went wonderfully. They gave me a spinal block and he was pulled out about thirteen minutes into it. I took no pain meds with him either. It hurt but I got up six hours after I had him and walked like crazy. Best thing ever, that walking! I went home the next day even. I'm a tough cookie ;)

I had three pregnancies that didn't end well. I was sixteen weeks when I lost my first pregnancy, thirteen weeks with my third pregnancy, and thirteen with my fourth pregnancy. All after the "safe point". I miscarried my first in the hospital. They did an autopsy before the burial and found out she was a girl. I named her Ashleigh. The other two were named Gabriel and Morgan. It's a very hard thing to go through, a miscarriage. But sadly, it's very common as well. It adds to our strength as women, and it helps us appreciate life a bit more fully. They say people don't appreciate life until someone they know has passed away or they have come close to dying themselves...

Mother's Day is a special day. It celebrates what we go through to be mothers. The challenges, the struggles, the victories (potty training!), the successes and of course our strength. Because in all honesty, no one could do what we do, like we do :) So don't be lazy, tell your mother, grandmother, wife, girl-friend and mommy friends, you love them and thank them for being awesome mommies. And if you are a mommy, then enjoy fully not just tomorrow, but everyday with your blessings. It truly is a blessing to be a mommy, one that should never be taken for granted. <3

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Blog Change

I have to apologize to my followers, I didn't know that changing my blog title would screw it up so much. It deleted all of you and messed with my syndication on Networked Blogs and facebook automatic posting. Oops! I apologize and hope you excuse the mess... *Beckie*

It's Picture Day!

So my daughter asked a random question the other day that spurred her daddy to act out on it. "Have you ever wondered what would happen if you froze a water balloon dad? Do you think it would freeze in the same shape? Would it break?" So Husband took out our collection of a thousand water balloons (we enjoy water fights here a little too much, lol) and he filled two and stuck them in the freezer. Last night we pulled them out and played with them for a bit. Ever stuck salt on an ice ball? It's interesting. The kidlets got a little mini lesson on water and ice and it was fun too. Afterwards we just tossed them around outside with our golf clubs and baseball bats and then they eventually disappeared.

 We did a craft back during Easter and I wanted to post it up but never really had the time. I do now so I thought I'd post it now. It turned out really cute and shockingly, I didn't get it off of pinterest, I got it from the nursing home where I work.

I spent an hour the night before shaving down crayons, and putting the shavings into the containers that would make it easy for the kidlets to use. I set up my ironing board and let them use it to put their papers on. And then it was grab a color of shavings and sprinkle them onto their paper.

There was no real rhyme or reason to how we sprinkled the colors, Bean just sort of pinched and dumped as you can see above, and Bug did hers as girly and dainty as she could. I ended up putting more onto hers because otherwise there would not have been enough color to iron. 

I used construction paper and cut out an Easter Egg shape and taped it to our wax papers. And then we hung them in the windows where the colors really came out. They were really pretty contrary to how they look above. I didn't think much about them until I put them in the windows. You can do any shape and color, we chose eggs because of Easter and all but I think we might do this for each holiday now. And try out different color schemes too. Red, white and blue for the Fourth of July coming up :)

I discovered last week that I regained back a lot of the weight that took me over a year to take off. In total I had lost sixty pounds. And I was incredibly proud of what I did. I still am in fact. But due to health issues of loss of control over my blood sugar and hypoglycemia, I quit taking care of my diet and let myself go again. And as of last week, I got to see my consequences. The weird thing is that I am still wearing my pants, they are a little tight but I haven't had to move up in size. But the scale shows the higher numbers so I gotta go with that. I'm disappointed but also okay with it to a certain extent. It happens. I'm not perfect and I never want to be. I'm also not a size one and I never want to be that either. I love my curves, my hips are my favorite part of my body, and I know my curves are what keeps my husband lusting after me ;) I'm not sick and I'm not un-healthy by being curvy. If I can't accept myself at my weakest though, then I definitely won't be able to accept myself when I'm at my strongest. But with that all said, I would really like to wear a swimsuit this summer and feel good in it. My issues with my weight haven't been just the weight itself, it's my self esteem and I feel like I am finally winning that battle :D So today I spent two hours at the gym and it felt great! I would have been longer, my goal was four hours but Husband got called in to work so I had to cut it early. Tomorrow I will double it and make it my four hours after church. I want to go in as much as I can on the weekends because I know my time is limited during the week. My goal is to drop at least forty-five pounds and hopefully, I can do it before my anniversary. I found a gorgeous dress and plan on wearing it on the night we go out to celebrate seven wonderful years. :D

My Bug lost another tooth yesterday. She came home from daycare and told me she had a loose tooth. I didn't think much of it because she has lost six teeth already so I figured we would have a break in between teeth falling out. So I dropped the kidlets off here at the house with Husband and I went off to the store and to run some various errands. I came back an hour later and discovered my Bug jumping around me right as I walked in the door, yelling about how she lost the tooth! She had been wiggling it and ended up popping it right out all on her own. So tooth number seven is gone and done with. And her sixth birthday is just a few months away too. I think when I was her age I had lost one tooth. I only hope Bean doesn't end up losing his as fast. His didn't come in as fast as Hannah's did so I figure he'll be slower in losing them. I hope. I hate teeth. I always have that nightmare where my teeth fall out of my mouth with no help from anything. It's awful.

Along with my working out this weekend, I am also cleaning out my messy office, rearranging and prepping it for my new desk. And I am also creating a cake-ful masterpiece. I decided to make a cake for Hannah's teachers and the other staff at Head Start. Thursday is Hannah's last day and we get an ice cream social, pictures from the year's activities and a time to say goodbye to the wonderful teachers she has been with for two years. I will be sad but not as bad because Ignacio begins his Head Start journey next fall. The sad part is thinking of my daughter who is going to be a kindergartner. It's shocking! And saddening. I bought the Dr. Suess book, Oh The Places You'll Go! and had her teachers sign it already. I found the idea on pinterest. Every year I will have her teachers sign the book on a different page and when she graduates high school, it will be part of her gift from us all. I will also be taking her picture on the first day every year and putting them into a special book along with a survey. The same one she'll take yearly. And that will also be a gift to her when she graduates. I have a few ideas that we are going to do. When she graduates, she'll have quite the fun basket of gifts from us. We'll do the same thing for Ignacio too of course. And I'm pulling out my wedding dress this year too and plan on her wearing it for me for a few pictures. And for her wedding day, we'll be comparing how she looks <3

So today is quite busy busy but it has been nice to blog for a little bit of it :) I hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend as well :) For me I am off to make a few phone calls, catch up on some e-mails and then cooking and baking. Which would be made MUCH easier with my fantasy KitchenAid mixer ;) *HINTHINTHusbandHINTHINT*! LoL. I have been very subtle but rumor has it he's been looking ;) So, I'm off for now, tra-la-la-la-la! See you sooooon! *Beckie*

Two Years Later...

My family and I finally made it to church. Two years. I've been saved for about eight years now and I feel guilty and shameful for getting lost. Allowing myself to become weak in all aspects and allowing myself to sink back into old habits, old ways, and of course, mistakes that I had already made and assumed I'd stay away from. So we went to church today and it was not what I expected. I expected our church family to not talk to us, to look at us shamefully, to make it awkward all in all. And as I walked into the building guiltily, it was a complete shock from the moment we got in the doors. We were greeted with smiles, hugs and love. Not a single person criticized us for being gone for so long, no one spoke to us harshly, and no one even asked what happened. They welcomed us back with love, told us how they had been praying for us and were so happy to have us back, and how big the kidlets had gotten. It was wonderful. Our church has grown which was quite nice and a definite surprise. And the sermon was a total God thing. My cousin has been keeping an "eye" on me and sending links and prayers. I'd been lost between what I have known and what I am. And today's sermon answered every question that I have ever had. God had planned it perfectly I'd say. I'll post a link at the end of this, it leads to my church's website and our pastor's sermon should be up there either tonight or tomorrow. It was wonderful and I feel like I may be on the path of peace again :) It's hard to lead my life towards peace and not being able to actually control what is around it completely. It seems as if I am finally ready to be at peace and others have other ideas. Family drama is hanging around lately. And a huge test of myself hangs around as well. It usually is easy for me to forgive. Trust no, but forgive yes. Except when I have people who are extremely close to me hurt me. Or do things that just aren't right in anyway. Family to me means un-breakable. I have close friends who continually love me no matter what happens, no matter the distance, no matter what I say or tell them, and no matter how lost I become. I have had people in the past two years stick by me and show me love in every way. That is family to me. I have had my sister-in-law, love me like her blood and become one of my best friends. We have gotten into a fight or two and a few arguments and even some silent treatments but always to quickly forgive each other and get past it. That is family. But it's hard to have someone close to you, disown you over something silly. Especially only days after losing your father. People wonder why I am so closed off. Let me tell you how after being hurt by people closest to you, I just don't want to risk opening myself up to get hurt again. It's not that I can't, it's that I choose not to. And now, after two years, I have the opportunity to forgive someone, but again, I won't. And yet I walk with the guilt. It's difficult to do something that I know is right, that protects me and my family, and yet feel like the bad guy. It's something I get to work on. And pray on more. It has been an exciting week so far. Bug finished her last year of Cubbies in Awana. She is now officially a Spark in the fall. And she didn't just finish it out but she blew away the entire program. She completed both books, STILL has both books worth of verses memorized. She also did not miss a single Awana meeting in the two years. We had help from other Cubby classes, when we went to Montana, she was allowed to attend their meetings which was awesome. So I finished sewing the last of her patches on and now get to look for a shadow box to put it in. We have taught her that if she is going to do something, she has to do it to the full extent of her ability, to do her very best, and to always finish it no matter if she doesn't like it or not. I don't want her like me, starting things and never finishing them, lol. Now she has two weeks left of Head Start, a few weeks of summer school to prep her for kindergarten, and then in a few short months, I will have a big girl on my hands. I know that as time goes on, I will always miss my father, but it will ease up. But times like these, I haven't ever wished he was here as hard as I do now. I think he'd get a kick out of how my girl is turning out. We have a full year planned ahead, she gets to pick one sport to do, and she has chosen hockey, which will be interesting. Luckily she can skate okay lol. And she will be starting up Daisy's in Girl Scouts and I get to start a wonderful thing by being one of her leaders :) To say I am excited is a HUGE understatement.

Onto Bean. My boy. HA! Shooting, running, jumping, climbing everything, kind of boy. Keeping him inside or out of dirt is pretty much impossible. He likes to fish, hunt, dig up worms, run, climb, hike, splash in mud puddles and ride his bike. And he prefers a bow and arrow to anything else. He gets to start Early Head Start in the fall which means once a week for an hour, we will have a teacher visit us and work with him. We will have activities to do during the week just us and then every two weeks, on Fridays he will get to go to the center to have a playdate with the other kids in the program. I am pretty excited but ever so sad. It's really hard to watch him grow up since he is after all, my baby.

I am planning on finishing and working on a lot of crafts and I will be sharing them with you over time. Get some photos on this boring blog. I want to test myself out and see if I can actually be crafty. Thanks to pinterest, I doubt it will be too difficult LoL. Wait until you see the next cake I have planned. I don't take photos and share the of my cakes often but it's really neat to make my cakes. I don't like the taste of fondant but using it can be a blast! Although i found some artificial strawberry flavoring and I am going to attempt that with this cake, lol. You'll see....

So my blog prompts, which I have forgotten about, I found today as I was sorting through my e-mail messages. One of them stuck in my mind. Promises. That's all. Just promises. At first I was wondering ok what about them? But to me I think it just means to write what we think about them. Do we make the often? Do we break them often? What kind do we make? Husband and I both feel the same way about promises. If you can't trust our yes's to be yes and our no's to be no, then it doesn't matter what we do, promise, swear or whatever, it doesn't matter. So we demonstrate that people can trust our yes's and no's to be just that. I don't need to walk up and say 'I promise', I just say, yes I will do that, and then I do. I try hard to not lie and not to be known as a liar and I don't lie. There are no degrees of sins, a lie is just the same as murder so I try not to do either. Except for one time. My wedding day. I made a vow to my husband, to God and our family and friends. And that is one promise, one vow, I will never break <3

My anniversary is coming up in about a month and a half. It will be seven years of marriage. And I am excited to celebrate that day. Which will include dinner at our favorite restaurant which we only visit on our anniversary or when his parents come to town. We will more than likely visit the movies and of course buy each other goodies. SImple, fun and yet what I look forward to for months at a time. I always tell Husband, "God makes our life bumpy but when it comes to our marriage and our children, we are incredibly blessed, why do you think that is?" There is no other answer other than God. We can get lost along the way, we can turn our backs from Him, we can pretend not to know the truth, but in the end, we always come back because we know better. And the best part is? He will never leave us. He stands by and watches and waits. And still blesses our road. What a wonderful God we have.

With that I think I will end it here. I have a few minutes free to check pinterest, answer a few messages on facebook and then get to dinner. I hope everyone has had a wonderful weekend. I am actually looking forward to the oncoming week. I was dealing with the passing of a kidney stone but I think it's done now and thankfully it wasn't so bad. I have a pretty high pain tolerance thankfully so I hope either it was small or I just dealt well with it. Either way, it's done and I'm happy :)) So until next time! *Beckie*

I hope You Read This

 First and foremost, I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday weekend. We are celebrating Passover as well as Easter since we are a bi-religious family and it's just as crazy busy as it is fun.
 Part of our plan for the weekend started off with an Easter egg hunt this morning. As it is every year, the weather was windy and cold and not really answering our prayers of sunshine, warmth and zero winds. But since snow was predicted, it was better than the forecast at least :) It was nice to enjoy the hunt as a participant rather than the person who put it on as well. For the past two years I have been the one to put the city Easter egg hunt on. And every year it has been quite the stress and quite the anxiety for me. I couldn't do it another year it was just not something I was looking forward to. You see, Easter egg hunts from a parent's point of view isn't about how awesome it is for their kids to be able to participate in seeking out eggs with free candy in them, or being able to share the excitement with their kids as they run around giggling and seeking eggs with their friends and it is certainly not about thinking about the efforts of those who put it on. No, instead as I have learned over the past three years now, it is about standing around with other parents and complaining about any aspect possible from the weather which no one has any control over (and in my opinion is sort of fair game because I also hate coldness and wind), it's also about complaining about how many eggs are NOT there to hunt for even though they don't seem to get how the people putting on the egg hunt paid for the eggs themselves, and it isn't about thinking about what the people go through putting this one. So I'd like to enlighten people a little bit. I haven't spoken my opinion in three years. I have sat back quietly, taken the criticism from everyone and kept my mouth shut. I'm tired of doing that.
 So let's begin. The past two years I have spent more than $600 dollars of my own money on plastic eggs, candy to go inside of them, and the prizes to be given to the children who found special eggs. I had a friend at the time who helped me last year and put in quite a bit of money herself. She also spent a month writing letters and e-mails begging companies and people for donations. Last year's count of plastic eggs totaled 1200. And we had about 75 children show up for last year's hunt. I still received complaints about how there were not enough eggs. Really?!? We put quarters in some eggs. To a child, that is still quite a bit of money. I heard people gripe about how we should have put in more than just one quarter. Really!?!? I put in ads and flyers about the egg hunt starting at a certain time. I had people show up after that specified time and complain that their children didn't get to participate and how horrible of a person I was. If something starts at 10:00am, show up ten minutes early. Don't complain because you can't show up to en event on time. I am not holding 75+ children just because a few can't get their parents out the door faster. I enjoyed hearing feedback, it gave me ideas. The first egg hunt I put on, I had a few parents hold back until everyone left and gave me ideas and things to work with. That helped. What didn't help was parents telling me how dumb I was for doing something or hearing how useless I was because I didn't do the egg hunt the way they wanted it. If there is a FREE event put on in your city evaluate the fact that if you think you may have an idea or could help out in ANY way, why not speak up and volunteer to help out instead of sitting in your house and complaining about what could have been one way or done differently or how you could have done it better. When I started the egg hunt, I had ZERO help. ZERO. No one volunteered to help me until the day AFTER. The city wouldn't even help me. And the last time it had been done was about ten years previous I heard.
 This year was a different story. I took the hunt to my local chapter of the Eagle's Auxiliary and asked them to help me with it. I couldn't take the stress, the financial aspect was too much and in all honesty I was tired of people going behind my back and complaining about what I did or didn't do or how badly ran it was. So I humbled myself and took down my pride a notch and asked for help. And I got it. A friend of mine and her friend (who is now a new friend of mine :) ) took over this year. They got our local movie theater to donate a free movie for everyone, they got hot dogs, chips, cookies and punch and gave the kids a free lunch as well as got awesome raffle prizes and the obvious Easter egg hunt. The Easter bunny was also present and that was a pretty good hit to. But, instead of parents saying thank you or telling these ladies how awesome of a job they did, all I heard was complaints and it made me sick to my stomach. Parents were upset that there was no food for them. Umm hello!?!? Really1? THIS IS FOR THE CHILDREN!!!! You want free food, go to a homeless shelter or your own parents. THIS WAS FOR THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There weren't enough eggs. I can see that but how many eggs for a child is really "enough"? There was no way to predict the amount of children showing up. And in big cities children are only allowed to walk away with 6 or 7 eggs each. So when your child walks out shouting yay I have 15 eggs, you really need to hush. Every family puts on their own egg hunt on Easter anyways, it isn't like your child won't get anything at all so don't get greedy. Let's see, what was the other complaint I heard...Oh yeah, parents showed up after the specified time. I read awesome and I know I read that the egg hunt began at ten but to please show up earlier. That's pretty self explanatory. If something starts at ten, be there at nine forty-five or nine fifty. Don't show up at five minutes past ten and wonder why the egg hunt is done with. A mass of children will consume twelve hundred eggs in literally four and a half minutes. I timed it last year.
 It makes me upset that all I heard was negative comments about the egg hunt, once again. What is so hard about a smile and a thank you? I know my father raised me right, did everyone else's parents not care enough to teach the most simplest rules of respect and politeness? And yet these people are the same ones who will be sitting in a church tomorrow praising God for saving them and pretending to be awesome religious people. Just because you go to church does not make you a Christian. Your behavior outside of church is what people notice better than how you sit in a church.
 I thanked these ladies. My kids got free candy, I got a free three hours of entertainment for them as well as myself, my kids got a free lunch, they got to watch a free movie in the actual theatre, and my son even won a free kite. I don't see any negatives about this. We as a family spent three awesome hours together. How was that a bad thing?
 I'm just in a mood now because of that. I was so disgusted by grown adults that it actually baffles me. Every year I see grown ups who act more greedy, more selfish and just plain out more immature than the five and six years old who are actually in the hunt. Grow up "adults"!
 Ugh.
 There's the end of my rant. Hopefully people read it and got something out of it. Hopefully next year when I put on the next egg hunt, I am met with people who want to help and not bitch and whine. Hopefully I am met with more help than road blocks. Hopefully people are grateful and not ridiculous. Because honestly, people do these things for complete strangers. People are doing this for children who aren't theirs. People do this sort of thing to help the community, to teach children kindness and good deeds. I do this sort of thing to teach my children that if there is a change to be made in the world, to be the ones to do it instead of talking about doing it.
 So happy Easter to all of you out there. I honestly hope everyone has a wonderful time with their families and friends, and that even though it's not Thanksgiving, we all remember to be thankful. I hate that people only act right during times such as 9/11 or Christmas or Thanksgiving. People should act decent and good ALL year, EVERY year. Instead of trying so hard to be skinny, people need to try to be nice. TO EVERYONE.

Spring Has Sprung!

 I don't feel any different. We lost an hour last night? I love that technology changes my clocks for me. everywhere I look it is already changed. Apparently the hour I lost last night, won't be missed. I apologize lost hour. Miss you!

 This weekend has been so wonderful. I have the elated, joyful feeling that normally is caused by something specific but this time, I think it is mainly the sunshine and the sixty degree temperatures. And the lack of snow. Around this time we are normally buried by eight feet of snow and no end in sight. So when we galloped off (yes galloped) to the big city, a spontaneous buy was in mind. And it proved a very awesome and yet bittersweet one.  

 Bean got hit first bike yesterday. And it was kind of bittersweet. I dis-like anything that makes him older and helps him grow faster on me. It's a horrible thing my baby growing up. But he sure is turning into one fun boy. My sister-in-law bought him a nerf-like bow and arrow and the boy can already shoot well. Too well. My butt has a few bruises and Bug's poor head has fallen victim a few times as well. Needless to say he has a few targets outside and that's where the thing stays. But now he has his bike to occupy him. I had both the kids outside yesterday after we got back, riding their bikes and playing outside, which is an unnatural thing for this time of year but oh-so-very-wonderful. Bug is riding with only one training wheel and will hopefully have the other one off this summer. She does really well but has a thing for going faster than I like. If this is this bad with only bike riding, I can only imagine what driving my car will be like, ugggghhh....
 I'm starting a new journey in a few days. Not an actual leaving and going somewhere journey but a new journey of cleansing my body, me, annnnd of course the usual kick my butt into gear and lose the rest of my dirty weight. Now that my crazy life is settled into a routine, I am going to throw this new factor in it and see what happens. I'm taking my before pictures today and then in six weeks I will take some shots and see where I'm at. I'm giving myself six weeks and hoping to lose twenty-five pounds and at least ten inches total body loss. Which is realistic and yet a little bit of a push. I ordered a new DVD and it comes with some equipment and I bought a new smoothie machine yesterday and am getting all kinds of fruits and veggies today for it. A smoothie a day :)) So here's to my my new summer body, that will last the whole year, lol.
 One of my besties birthdays hit a few days ago and late as always, I picked up a few things yesterday for her. Which was a lot of fun. If Amtrak wasn't so ridiculous priced I was going to show up for a fast weekend trip to surprise her. But prices being so high, it wasn't a go. That and I am saving up for our summer trip this year. Wisconsin Dells :D Which I am ecstatic for. Now that Bug is going into kindergarten, we aren't going to be able to take off during the winter and do our family vacations anymore. But the Dells are awesome. If you haven't heard of them, google them. We went a few years back, the kids and I and a friend and her kids and it was a ton of fun! And not that expensive either. It's a summer town, with so much to do and yet so relaxing at the same time. A town full of waterparks, lol. I'm pumped! Husband wants to go to Montana but he'll have to take the kids and go on his own, I only get so much time off of work and I'd like to do something different this year. We haven't gone anywhere but Montana. And as much as I love and adore my family and friends over there, it gets hard when we are always going over there with no visit from anyone here. Which there's really no thrill when visiting North Dakota and I get that. Believe me I do. I live here lol. But it does see a little lonely when it's always one sided...Especially when silence is the most common ways of communication between trips.
 I have the biggest craving for malt 'o meal. The chocolate kind. Weird. I don't usually eat that stuff. Since I was pregnant with Bug actually. My kids eat it though. Pretty good stuff I hope because I'm going to make some for breakfast. That and some cookies. I'm working on my sugar cookie frosting perfection skills, lol. That and my decorating too. I love decorating sugar cookies and my kids enjoy taste testing. Now if my blatant hint of "You know this KitchenAid mixer would make an awesome Mother's Day or Anniversary gift for your wife, Husband...." would work, I might be able to work my cake skills next. I hate mixing fondant by hand, it makes me lazy to think of mixing the frosting too. That and it doesn't turn out as well when done by hand as by mixer. I want to practice for the kid's eventual birthdays. I have a goal of pulling off my own fondant cakes this year.
 My new smoothie just isn't cutting it taste wise. I may have messed this up, lol. So I think I'm going to cut this off and go make some malt 'o meal. Put in my Jillian and bust a sweat for twenty and then get to work on some laundry. Sounds grand to me. I'll end up finishing my book (The Hunger Games) outside while the kids play. It's supposed to be in the sixties again today. I will not sit inside during THAT! So I hope you have a fabulous day as well and enjoy some sunshine! Spring is here :))

*Beckie*

Ick politics and men with capes

 If you ask me, I won't tell you. Mostly because I don't care enough to know. To be honest, I don't even know what a republican or a democrat is. Or the differences between them are. Or whatever has to do with anything of either. I just don't care. You can call me ignorant. You can tell me how I'm letting my entire generation down. But let's be honest and serious here. My one pathetic vote, doesn't get the next person elected. It just doesn't. I haven't voted since the whole Al Gore escapade. (Anything was better than Bush :P ) Besides, anyone can stand up in front of America and make promises that they aren't going to keep (Hello, Obama!) I can tell you right now how I will be the next president and how I will end world hunger, begin world peace, and make sure everyone is rich and paying no taxes by the end of next year. And then I'd be president and saying screw you all, I'll do what I want :P
 So in real life excitement, I have Christmas gifts planned out and started on. I'm not releasing any details because I'm assuming the friends that they are destined for are reading this and I'm not giving anything away ;) I'm good at blurting out my secrets. I haven't been able to not give away Husband's birthday gift in life, ever. I just get so excited, I can't keep them a secret, lol. I can't wait and the suspense kills me. But this time, I will succeed :)
 We're getting ready to be hit with a huge blizzard tonight. Which sucks period because I don't like the snow. It's pretty and if you have a wood stove or a fire place, winter can be a wonderful season. Especially while living in places such as Montana. But otherwise, it's just yuck. The really not fun part about it is that when a snow day is called because people can't get to work, I can't ever complain about not getting to work because I live across the street from my place of work. If my car can't get out of the driveway which happens often, I have to walk. I'm still getting to work when others can't. Well, at least the paycheck doesn't suffer.
 When our basement flooded last month, I thought our water heater and our furnace were shot. Well, I was right about the furnace. Disgustingly right unfortunately. But today, Husband performed acts of amazingness and fixed the water heater for good. Before we had just enough water to shampoo, condition and soap the body and hop out before the chattering of the teeth began. Now, it's wonderfulness. I think the hot water lasts longer now then it did before. High five! The furnace doesn't phase me, we'll replace it in the fall. Until then we have electric heaters. They work pretty well. That and it has been a really mild winter. Thank you God. Three of the cities in the top ten coldest cities in the US (Second coldest, third coldest and fourth coldest) are in this state. It gets colder than Alaska here. Ugh...
 Well kiddies, it's time for Private Practice and then bed. I am all caught up on Grey's Anatomy and now have to wait for this season to finish and get on Netflix or come out on DVD so I can watch it. I can't find anyplace on the internet that will let me start with the first episode of the season and get caught up until the most recent one, so I now get to wait. So I am forcing myself to watch Private Practice. Not too bad but not as great as Grey's. I tried to get onto Lost and Heroes since Husband adores those shows but they are just too much for me. Lost blows my mind and I missed one stupid episode and got completely lost. And Heroes is just too super hero-ish for me. I never got int the whole Superman and Marvel Comic thing. I like football. And comedy. Not kryptonite or batcaves....
 So anyways, have a good slumber and hopefully unless a big ball of gas hits us, I may be back again!
Toodles!

Two Year Shoes

 I'm not very materialistic. Or maybe I am and I live in denial about it. Whatever. I work hard for my money and my bills get paid so when I can go out and spend a fe wbucks. I do. I actually get my happy spending moments when I buy for the kids or the husband. I very rarely buy things for myself. Except today. Husband has been nagging at me you see. I have a pair of Sketchers which I adore with all my heart. They are those Shape-Ups that two years ago, cost me a hundred dollars. And about a week's worth of nagging from Husband telling me how dumb to spend so much money on shoes. No way would they lost very long right? WRONG! Two year shoes folks. So today I got a different kind of nagging. I was forced, against my will, to buy shoes. Just because mine happened to be a tad bit dirty and the bottoms were starting to peel up. Whatever. So I bought shoes today. I have never owned Nikes and that's all I'll say about them. For the price I paid, these better be the new two year shoes. Or three for that matter. I'm very good to my shoes. And very cheap lol. But I like these shoes. And even better, I'm sticking it to the government. I saved my reciept. For you see, I bought these for work. So I'm using them as a deduction next year. Along with the four pairs of scrubs I bought today. I'm saving every receipt that I can and next year, I will be getting paid back. Booyah IRS! I told my accountant that a few days ago and he laughed at me. He says I take the IRS too personal. Uhhh...Yes, yes I do. I don't like giving away my money :( I'm cheap like that thankssomuch! But anyways, if you ever wonder about Sketchers Shape-Ups (No I'm not getting paid for saying any of this by the way!) They are incredible, durable, and perfection. Very worth every dime!
 I also bought a few books today. I love books. And I read far too much. Thanks to my Kindle, I can read anywhere. And I do! I like going down to the old morgue at work during lunch and reading or watching Grey's Anatomy on the Netflix app on my phone. I. Am a nerd if you didn't know. My favorite authors? Karen Kingsbury and Faye Kellerman (but only the Peter Decker series) I do have stand alone favorites of course and right now I am reading The Vow and it is so far really awesome. It's hard to put it down. And I am so glad the characters are so firmly tied to God. Husband and I have an incredible marriage, an incredible love story at that, but my biggest hope is that should a true crisis arise, we would both stand firm with each other. I say true because so far nothing in life has given us anything crisis mode, thank you Jesus! But one day something will come along. Until then, everything is just a practice trial, lol. I saw a post on pinterest and it had a photo of a sign that read "One day when my children ask me who my first love was, I want to point across the room and say your father" or something to that effect. Marriage is such a high belief of mine and I am so very anti divorce. Anything can be fixed. ANYTHING.
 My bulldog decided to kick into heat. She's staying inside to avoid certain events that would include babies due to our male pit bull. She's sleeping with my Milo dog (the tiny pup I just got) in his cage and it is super funny.

 That is our Angel (the bulldog) and my Milo. Sharing ever so nicely. Not quite fitting though lol. Milo comes out in just a little bit, she'll stay in. The whole bleeding thing is not my piece of bacon. But those are two out of three of our loves. Angel is actually my husband's. She was his birthday and anniversary gift from last year. She's such a doll. We also have our pit bull, Andre, who contrary to popular belief will not kill anyone nor bite them out of nowhere nor does he deserve to die just because he is a pit bull. I get kind of upset when people discriminate against my dog. Don't break into my house and don't hurt my children and my dog won't be vicious with anyone. He's a sweetie too. He has this annoying thing of climbing into bed with me or my son when my husband is gone. I have this annoying thing of letting him too....It's awful I know, I'm a bad doggy parent. LoL. And the treats I have hidden under my tupperwear drawer where Husband can't find them? I don't possibly give them to the dogs whenever he is gone just because of the cuteness....Never! LoL

 My cat however is a bit of a pain. I will be the crazy cat lady one day. i will have at least six cats running around. Cats are my cup of tea. They survive on their own, act prissy and are very good at cuddling. Especially under the covers, behind my knees on my electric blanket. Dirty heat thieves....

 I am afraid I have introduced my husband to the world of crafts. He picked up his second model last week, a ship this time I do believe. (He has a car already) and of course we stopped by today to get more paints and various supplies for him. Hobby Lobby is my new haven. I pick up all my cake and baking stuff there as well as tons of crafty stuff. I didn't want to stop there today but Husband insisted so I made him get me a new flower pop mold and another bag of lollipop sticks and baggies. I love cake pops! Super cute! And now I have been toying around with cake pops. I have a flower mold to play with now. I might post pictures sometime. I also picked up a picture. I can't draw or paint at all. But I'm going to try. It's a paint by number though, LOL! I supposedly can't mess it up. We shall see...

 Okay now that I realize I have written a book here, I am popping in a movie to watch with Husband and then finishing up some e-mails. I hope you all are enjoying the weekend so far! Toodles! 

*Beckie* 

It's Friday!

 I saw a sign this morning on Facebook. "I work hard so everyone on Welfare doesn't have to." Yup! I'm feeling ornery tonight, watch out! Well, actually it's pretty much since we filed our taxes. We gave a lot to taxes and I'm talking a lot as in could have bought a brand new car and then some, a lot. And didn't get much back at all. Made me bitter. Then I found out a friend of mine got back quite a bit and collects all kinds of "aid" and has no job. I don't get it. I was told that if I would always have to work hard all my life because nothing in life is free. I was lied to because apparently if I quit my job, I can stay home and get all kinds of money and freebies and not do anything for it. I can understand needing help from time to time, and that doesn't affect me at all, everyone needs help throghout time, God knows we hit rough patches every now and again, but needing help and being lazy? There's a BIG difference.....
 Off my venting box and onto better things....Today is afterall Friday! Fridays are a small holiday now that I have a nice job that allows me weekends off. LOVE IT! I am loving my new job by the way. It's been a month and I adore it already. I have yet to have a bad day or even a bad moment there in all honesty. I get paid to do what I do best, clean. I get to be OCD and people love me even more for it! Score! LoL. The kids are loving the new daycare too. Hannah doesn't get but an hour there which works fine but Ignacio absolutely loves it. He used to be that kid that hated being without me. He is doing so well there. I'm so happy :))
 I had such a good day today too. Besides it being Friday and all. My Bug who is only five years old for another six months, decided to learn how to tie her shoes. My husband only showed her a few times and she got the hang of it from there. I teared up. I won't lie or deny it. I'm not ashamed, lol. Maybe a little but this girl, she's my heart. She was the baby that wasn't supposed to be here. She was my first born. So of course I teared up. And was ever so proud that this step is over with. I dreaded the whole shoe tying teaching as much as the whole potty training thing.
 I had to call the elementary school yesterday, to give Bug's name to them. They are starting the head count for this fall's kindergarten class. Class of 2025 yikes! I don't look forward to September even though she is ecstatic. She's finally going to the big kid's school and going to be in kindergarten with all her friends and this is when mommy will start letting her sleepover at her friend's houses and on and on and on. I'm glad she's thrilled, mommy isn't so much :(
 I just bought The Vow on my kindle. I was told it is an amazing movie and the book is of course, even better, so I'm giving it a whirl. I'm waiting for Karen Kingsbury to release her next book which has me on pins and needles. It's the last book about her Baxter family who I've grown very attached to as far as fictional families come.
 Now onto what really made my day awesome today. I received a comment today from one of my favorite bloggers. This woman is full of pure sweetness, funny as all get up and just awesome beyond awesome. We have been following each other for just a short time but I love reading her blog posts, sometimes even twice or more (I know, stalker material right here, lol) So I get a comment telling me something about a nugget of versatility or something or other. So I click the link and go spy...I won a blog award!!! Supahmama awarded me with the Versatile Blogger Award and I am incredibly proud to accept it :)

Now, along with it are of course rules, and a little task at hand. The rules first...

The Rules for The Versatile Blogger Award

1. Thank the award-giver and link back to them in your post.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Pass this award along to 15 recently discovered blogs you enjoy reading.

4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award.



Now to be honest, I don't have fifteen friends to pass this along to. But I will pass it along for sure :) And I want to shout out a huge thank you to Supahmama! for thinking of me with this award. That was ever so sweet and wonderful and highly made my day. And to be honest? I absolutely loved your seven things about yourself. The nail thing? Exactly why I don't keep nails!! I hate dirt or any kind of black stuff under my nails. Gross times five! 


1. Husband has been "fixed" for almost three years now. I can't have anymore babies due to it'd more than likely kill me or I'd have yet another miscarriage. I'll be honest, I'm in the middle of negotiations with the boss man himself (Husband) to have one more go at it. I can't think of anyone who'd be a surrogate for us, and I miss being pregnant. I just wish I could choose the sex, boys really are easier than girls and one girl is enough for me :)) 


2. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I believe in being a mommy and a wife but also having a life outside of the house. I love my family but having a job makes me feel productive and an asset to my family, my community and to life in general. That and to be honest? I'm not cut out for the baking, homemade, homeschooling, cleaning, mommy who is always smiley and happy and go-go-go. It's just not me and I'm not ashamed. 


3. I love making cakes and cookies. I don't tell people about it because I'm very embarrassed. I don't know why either. Make one cake in your life and now I'm hooked...LoL. 

4. I am addicted to pinterest and the activities and recipes I find on there. I love it and if you should want to look me up, let me know :) 


5. I gained five pounds in a month. That' snot a lot but it's still a gain. And secretly? I don't mind. I can drop it if I want to but I was getting grossed out. I'm weirdly proportioned and when I have chubby thighs and a chubby butt yet can see and feel my ribcage, it's gross. So I kind of purposely gained. I don't see much a difference though.


6. I got a new puppy for my birthday. Husband surprised me with a baby Japanese Chin slash Maltese. Tiny puppy. Husband is very sweet <3


7. I picked out my haircut that I'm going to get in three more years. I made a promise to my husband before we got married that I would go ten years without cutting my hair. He allows me four inches every year and that's it. Which I'm fine with. Because I picked out my haircut. And I have never had my hair shorter than my ears. Husband despises short hair. Boy will he be shocked! LoL


So, the ladies I snagged up to accept this award are as follows:


1. Gucci Mama
2. Angie Girl (who doesn't get on often at all but still has a great blog!) 
3. The ladies at Bee In our Bonnet
4. In Whispers And Shouts
5. And because she's just as random as I am and a good friend, Panda

I know, I know, I have such a small amount of people nominated, but in truth, I love all my bloggy friends, followers and followees. Go to my profile page and check 'em all out!
 Now I'm off to watch Grey's Anatomy and go eat dinner with the family. Love to everyone!

*Beckie*

Husband and puppies and other stuff

 So my husband. He's pretty awesome. And I'm always so grateful for him. Especially when I hear about other people's man/boy trouble. I always catch myself saying a thank you that my husband is who he is and does what he does and isn't like most men. I am guilty of not being grateful more often and it seems like I am being reminded more often of how grateful I really should be. Too many of my friends, acquaintances and blog buddies/reads are having marriage issues. As much as I pray for them, I also lift up thanks for mine. I think that as we pray for one another, we should also be thankful and grateful for having what we do you know?
 We aren't perfect but in the (almost) seven years we have been together and married, I can say that we have not only been through a lot but grown closer, wiser, better and stronger in every crevice of our marriage. It is one thing to go through a lot but totally another to come out of it together. And stronger. I know he'd never leave me, as I would never him. And I know a lot more than a ring and a piece of paper holds us together. And I hold dear that we did everything right from the moment we met which brings me a lot of pride. Not a lot of people can say they waited until marriage for sex or anything related.
 Which brings me to my next "challenge". Who has made my life worth living for. I shout Husband at this one. Before I met him, life was so dismal. Literally. I was at that point where I honestly didn't care about much. I worked two jobs just to have something to do and didn't go out or have friends outside of my family. I slept as much as I could and tried to be a butthead in any way possible. It was pretty pathetic. I put up a good front but that was as far as happy and at peace really went. When I met Husband, everything felt, at peace. As it should. And I knew that even though he was an awful flirt, had terrible choice in some of his friendships, and even tried to make me jealous, he was the one. Has been ever since. We are so alike in so may ways and yet are opposites in a lot too. And it certainly hasn't been easy all of the time. The first three years of marriage kind of suck just so everyone knows, lol. But after that, piece of cake. Or something like that at least.
  Our anniversary is coming up in about four months and I'm already planning his gift and our date. He planned ours last year, so it's my turn and I'm hoping I do really well. That and this month will mark when we started dating. Seven years together, it doesn't sound that much but it sure feels like a long time. Then again, ask me in twenty years how long THAT feels! LoL.
 It's funny how life turns out. Back in high school I thought that I would be somewhere completely different from where I am now. And how I thought I would have it all then. Now I realize how much better I have things and that while at the time I may not have understood things happening, God had a reason and definitely knew better for me and my life. And that I wouldn't change a thing. Husband is who makes my life worth living for. Always has and always will be <3
 We have another addition to our family, speaking of family and mushy feelings. The cutest little puppy dog. He's a cross between a Japanese Chin and a Maltese. I've been begging for a Yorkie for a few years and since they are so expensive and hard to come by, this was the closest (and actually best) option. A little belated birthday gift from husband :) So now I need to figure out a name...
 It's been a really busy week, but a great one at that. My new job is turning out so much better than I expected, I really like it The kids are loving the new daycare they are at now. They do so much fun stuff with the kidlets and they get to go on daily walks and meet the residents of the nursing home where I work sometimes. I also work at the hospital part too. Bug started ballet class and is liking that pretty well and is looking forward to finishing up Awana soon. I am so proud of her, she hasn't missed a day in two years! Bean is Bean. Just a little boy who is fascinated with everything and is still my cuddly mommy's boy. Can't and won't change that either :))
 And now because I haven't gotten to all week, I am going to end here and catch up on some Grey's Anatomy and cuddle with Husband. Have a fabulous weekend, I know I will!

*Beckie*

Ouch!

 One thing I have managed to say (with pride mind you!) is how I have managed to live in snowy places, about ninety percent of my life, and that I have never fallen on ice. Not when my grandmother took me ice skating for the first few times of my life, not when my father attempted to ice fish that one year, not even when I took my daughter skating for the first time in her life. No sir, I have never fallen on ice in my entire life. Until last night however. Twenty-seven years, and eight days old and I finally fell on my butt on ice. And you know, other than it being cold, it wasn't that bad. Until this morning. I felt like I was about eighty-something years old. Rubbing my hips, my neck and hunched over due to the pain in my back. Thank goodness for my large backside, I barely feel my tailbone bruising. But I survived so alls well that ends well I suppose...
 Have you seen or read The Help yet? I am addicted to most southern movies due to my obsession with all things southern. I got accepted into both University of Mississippi and Georgia State back when I graduated high school. Both were my top colleges of preference.  But then mommy dearest said no to both and life events happened and I ended up back in Montana awaiting prince charming himself  ; ) I started reading the book today and feel like re-watching the movie again. I wish it had been longer : (
 Tonight's challenge since I really need to pick it up and go again, is something I hope to never do. That takes thinking. Your average answer is almost always going to be "Bury my child(ren)" which doesn't count for me as I have buried three. Been there done that. I could also state obviously "never go to prison" let's face it, I'm not your typical badass who is borderline prison meat so that's out of the question. Maybe "never start a rock band' should be mine, but then again, I don't care for rock sooo, that again leaves me out. Instead I think a serious one will be, I hope I never become like the people I dislike. That's realistic, rarely heard, and actually number two in my book, so sounds good to me!
 I'm very good natured, friendly, smiley, and very respectful. I am one of those people who gets shy around new people (believe it or not) and would have to be the one approached versus approaching others. Even if I know a few people, if it's a large group gathering, I tend to stick to myself just because I feel uncomfortable, but it's never because I'm snotty or better than anyone. I've gotten that alot. There's a difference between stuck up and shy, and even though it's hard to tell which one is which, there are times and people, that make it very easy to see. And I try very hard not to be that wrong type of person. I don't usually care about someone's background, or who they hang out with or what clothes they wear. I am one of the rare ones in this town who really could care less who your parents are, what you do for a living, what your last name is and how much money you have. I'm not a cliquey person and I don't gossip behind other people's back hurtfully. I have never been "fake" I consider myself to be pretty real and I do put others first. And when people hurt me, I am quite the sucker because I forgive and stay friends with them, sometimes stupidly. I don't want to be like my mother in any way, and I want to be like my father in the good ways. I don't want to be known like the people in town know each other, and there are many people I don't ever want to be like. It's hard to fit in in a place like this but then again real easy as long as you know who you are and who not to be. Easy enough right? Psssh...
 I do know that one day, I want to know where to fit in and who I am. I think that is life's challenge. Figuring yourself out in the right amount of time. At least that is mine it seems like...

Drip. Drip. Drip.

You know. Seriously. Hot water? Heat? Amaaaazing luxuries. Yes, luxuries. Well, maybe not heat so much but definitely hot water. For the past three days I have been dressed to the nines in layers and boiling water for every use possible. And have realized how much nicer life is with luxuries. I'll get to that in a minute though. 

 Our visit in Montana went well. We said goodbye to Grandma Ella and celebrated my birthday on the same day. I got to visit with my family and friends throughout the visit. And I got to enjoy a few days of no work. I won't lie, that could possibly be the best part of it all. Well, not really but a darn near close second. One of my favorites was the smell. Mountain air smells so much nicer than any other air out there. And yes folks, air has a smell. Just like water has a taste. Don't argue with me. 

 Coming home however was a blast. We arrived after a very long 16 hour drive to find somewhere between 13 to 15 thousand gallons of water in our basement. No furnace which means no heat and no hot water tank which means no hot water. Such joy. After three days and constant prayer, the basement got sump pumped, the water eater got fixed and the furnace has a small glimmer of hope of working again. *sigh*

 I began work at my new job yesterday. I really like it and the new routine is actually going really well. It's not bad getting up at 6am every morning. As long as I am asleep by 10pm. Which isn't too bad either. Actually sleeping at night is wonderful. I usually don't fall asleep until 1am and wake up at 7 feeling awful all day long. Next week I will begin throwing in morning workouts. Not that I need to, I walk about two miles a day. Literally. 

 My daughter decided thanks to a classmate, that she wants to do dance class. Lucky for her they are beginning a class next week and I got her in it. 6 weeks of beginner ballet and then maybe jazz or tap after that. I like that. She's not really the ballet type but she needs something and there is nothing else around her to do so we'll attempt this. I'd rather gymnastics in all honesty...So now I get to order the leotards and ballet slippers and hope her hair pulls back in a little bun again. I have to admit, at least there is a cute factor in all this. 

 My son can start school this fall. I wasn't too worried about it because I was all no-no-no-no-not-my-baby-not-yet, hysterical about it but when I told the husband casually, I was told yes-yes-yes-get-used-to-it. He turns three in August. He's my baby. He'll be starting Awana too. With my daughter it was like time wouldn't come fast enough and now it speeds up faster than I would like to. How did this happen!?!? My baby is growing up and I despise it. If I was able to have more without dying, this wouldn't be such a big deal mind you. Husband and I have been talking about the adopting and such. It might be time since baby fever has struck abut a year ago and has no signs of leaving....

 I'm skipping my challenge for tonight. It's almost bedtime and I have plans of getting a backrub before then :)) 

 I turned 27. I didn't melt about it. Husband let me choose between the camera of my dreams or the sewing machine of my dreams. I chose both. Just gave up the dream sewing machine and settled for Wal-Mart special instead, lol. I'm spoiled and work hard for my money. I'll get what I want somehow. Even if the sewing machine technically comes out of my paycheck. What, like I can't buy myself a birthday gift? 

 Nine minutes before bed and I'm wondering how many pages of Twilight I can get in. I'm on book four and in the middle of it. This is about the tenth time of reading it. What are you reading right now??

*Beckie* 

Get a fry, catch-up and run!

  My husband has gotten addicted to Son of Anarchy. I used to be so anti-Netflix in the past. What's the point when you have DirectTv and DVR? But. Husband turned off our DirectTv about a week ago.Sadness I know. I'm sure China heard my sobs. But. It turns out, it wasn't a bad move at all. I can watch all my current shows online, minus my SisterWives but I can at least get those on DVD, so whatever. And, I'm at least able to enjoy some other tv shows and catch up form the beginnings of others. I'm re-watching Grey's from the very beginning. And Prison Break. Love that show. And that's how husband is watching an entire season of Sons of Anarchy right now. Thank goodness for my laptop. I am not crazy about this show so I'm running into a nice hot bath to watch an episode of Grey's Anatomy or two.
 In other news, we found out a few days ago that my cousin's grandma passed away. Wouldn't usually be such a big thing but this woman was the sweetest woman I ever knew. Always treated me like I was one of her own grandkids and so I grew up knowing her as Grandma.  A little bit of random trivia for you. I was raised by my father but also by my cousins. It's sad that I have more memories with them than my own mother. I was surrounded by their six boys, two who were out on their own by then, and the other four who were the brothers I never had, but in a way did. My father worked full time in a bar a few miles from where we lived. He'd go to work while I was in school so I'd go from school to my cousin's house and then spend the night and go back to school. Somedays I 'd be there for multiple days, others, I'd be back home with dad when he got a day off. I'd don't regret it or feel sad by it. My dad being a single father did what most didn't, one is, he got custody of me, and two, he worked his butt off to take care of me and made sure I had everything I needed or even wanted. My father was a great man...
 So before I get weepy on you, we are spending the next few days getting ready to head over to Montana for the funeral and to visit my family. The hardest thing is getting time off from work. I have four job, about to make it five in another two weeks, and getting time off from all of them takes time. But thankfully all of my bosses are amazing and worked with me and I am free until Monday. So for today I'm playing catch-up (ketchup? Get it?) and going to do two blogs in one. Two challenges in one I should say. As well as let you in on what was going on so that once we do leave, if I get time in to pop a blog up, great! If not, you'll understand.
 So, challenge numero quatro, someone who I need to forgive. Or something like that. Well, going with today's theme of family and such. I'm going to spit out the dreaded "M". Mother. I get that we as parents are going to screw up from time to time. You may think you have it all down, you may think you can avoid any crisis given to you or that you know better than anyone else. The thing is though, you will never know how much you mess your child up or what mistakes you ever made until they are grown adults. And I don't care who you or your mother or father are, they've made a few mistakes. Everyone does. The thing with my poorly spun family web, is that only the bad things have been passed on it seems. My mother blames her mistakes on her mother. My grandmother places her blames upon her mother and so on and so forth. Since I severed the ties between my mother and myself, the hard part is that when my children come to me with my mistakes, it means I get to own them as my own and place the blame upon noone. I also face life knowing I will screw up but hoping, praying that my children will love me through the mistakes and forgive me better than I forgive myself and my mother.
 You know when a young child comes around telling people how their parent loves their sibling more than they love them? Nothing could be closer to the truth with me. Thanks to my father and to my cousins, I turned out relatively normal (you'd have to meet me to understand what I mean by that) and in my family, normal is not okay. I wasn't bi-polar, I didn't have ADD, I wasn't "Special" by any means nor did I require any special attention. Being able to fend for myself and take care of myself since I was 8, was the best and yet worst quality of myself. I wish I could forgive her for that but even to this day, she pulls this favoritism thing. My sister was a drug abuser for a few years. Had two beautiful little girls who she couldn't take care of and yet no matter how many times she messed up or the things she did to mess up, my mother was always running to her side. I never asked for help because the times I did, I was refused so I learned to quit. She depended on me too much and the one time I told her no, that was the day she wrote me, her own daughter off. All for a few hundred dollars...
 So that's my gripping story. I watch mothers and their daughters as they shop, have these "girl days" or hear about how close they are and all that and while a part of me wishes for that, how nice that would have been, the biggest part of me is really glad that's not how life turned out. I can, afterall, take care of myself. Having my husband has been the best and biggest blessing but without him, I'd still be here, taking care and doing me. After my father died, I closed off the biggest part of me. I quit trusting people and letting them in because right around that time I lost a few friends, a few people betrayed me, and both of my parents left. A person doesn't just walk out perfect after that, you know what I mean? Maybe that helps explain why I'm so closed off to religion. Bad things happen that make you stronger, I get it, but I guess the hardest thing is being so "good" and working so hard to be such a "good" person and then getting kicked in the end like a puppy who peed on the rug. Not once, but a few times...
 Luckily, this girl can't be kept down too long. I'm back to almost normal, with just a few adjustments. My friends know who they are, the people who think they can hurt me anymore...I literally laugh because well, I'm kinda unbreakable at this point. And pretty proud of it too.
 My life not being perfect, or even normal for that matter, sounds bad, but it is actually something pretty outstanding. I am the person who lives the life that my daughter will never have to be, have to live and I know the type of person to never become. I may a mother, but I'll never be like my mother.
 Onto something less depressing and grim...
 Numero cinco, something I hope to do in my life. Lots of things. But when I close my eyes and clear my mind, I know that I want to travel. I really want to go places I've never been, take photos, store up stories for my grandkids, and watch the sky at night to see what the stars look like on other sides of the Earth. Lame and corny but what can I say? I'm kinda corny  : )
 So kids, that'll be all for tonight. I'm going to finish this up, go click on my electric blanket and settle in my bed to watch an episode of Grey's Anatomy. Love that show and that lame theme song grabs me all the time.
 Ciao bellas!

*Beckie*