Happy Mother's Day!

Such a little handprint. This is Bug's Mother's Day gift for me. Her teachers at Head Start helped her make this as well as purchased the supplies for her and her classmates to make these. It's one of the reasons I appreciate teachers, especially the ones at Head Start, they always go over and beyond. We have had two awesome years at Head Start and Thursday we watched as our Bug and the rest of her classmates put on a really cute presentation and finished their Head Start learning. I now live with a kindergartner :D I'm proud and excited buuuuut....It is very bittersweet. Not my baby anymore :( Pretty soon I will be blogging about her prom night and then graduation. Heartbreaking I tell you....

This is Ignacio's gift for me. The tag says that I'm tea-riffic <3 Bean is just not one into coloring yet. Partially because we suspect he is color blind like his father. Which totally sucks because I have like no idea how I am supposed to teach this boy his colors. THAT should be awesome *eye roll* But he was ever so sweet to me in giving me this and then later when he and Bug were outside playing and bringing me handfuls of dandelions.

I love that children are innocent and sweet. They just don't know how horrendous those "flowers" are, lol. But they are pretties and mommy needs them in her vase all of the time. And you just can't break their little hearts and tell them that these are not the type of flowers anyone really wants. Especially when they just have these beautiful faces and give you big hugs and a kiss on your cheek and tell you 'I love you mommy' in their sweet little voices. You take those flowers and put them in a vase and go overboard telling your babies how awesome they are because in all honesty, that is your children showing kindness, care, love, and everything wonderful that you want them to know in life. It's quite the awesome feeling :D

Mother's Day is in a day. Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers and grandmothers out there by the way! I love that we get an entire day of celebration for just doing what we do. I love that. Whether we are stay-at-home mothers, or working mothers. Whether we breastfeed or bottle feed. Whether we co-sleep or let them sleep in their cribs. Whether we cloth diaper or disposable diaper. Whether we let our children drink soda or whether they drink strictly nutritional drinks or just water. It doesn't matter how we do what we do, it's the fact that we do what we do because we think and feel it is the best way. Because all of us mothers have one thing in common: We want the very best for our children and try to do a good job at giving them that.

Tomorrow can be bittersweet to lots of moms out there including myself. It makes me think of my three babies who aren't here. Too many parents have lost their children far too early and I hate that. Despite God doing what is in His plan, He is still ripping out the hearts of mothers everywhere by doing just that. And it's hard watching parents out there not appreciating what they have and being lazy because there really are so many people out there who could be doing a lot better of a job but can't. I don't talk a lot about my angels because even as long as it has been, it is still hard. And unfair. And a lot of people don't know how to really deal with it. Unless you are one of those people who say things like, "But it's ok, you still have two kids, be grateful." Ouch! In that case, just hush and don't say anything at all....In my case, Ignacio was the last baby for me because I physically can't have anymore. In simple terms, I am allergic to hormones. I get very sick when I take birth control or any other medicine with added hormones. When I become pregnant my body throws blood clots until I miscarry. And with each time I get pregnant, it gets worse. I get sick and have to rely on medicine to make sure my blood doesn't shoot clots and it takes a toll on my body. So with Bean, I was advised to make sure he was my last baby and Husband bravely went and got a vasectomy three different ways.

Every mom has her miracle story, every child is a miracle all in itself. With Bug, I spent about eight months on bed rest. Everything that could go wrong, did. But she was a very easy delivery thank you Jesus. I had high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, PUPPP (Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy) except that it started in the very beginning of my second trimester and was full head to toe and folks, think Chicken Pox, but with no remedies. I would soak in hot baths twice a day and could hardly wear clothes or let anything touch my body, it was HORRIBLE! Bug also was an ectopic pregnancy. I was told to abort her, that she would not survive in any case but they didn't want to risk losing me or my lady parts. Obviously, we didn't abort her and a big HA! to the doctors who felt we should have. They told us her egg sac was misshapen due to her being ectopic and I would miscarry. Then after a few weeks of that, I had to hear how she was tearing away from my uterus and I would lose her then too. We dealt with a stressful pregnancy to say the very least. Then when it came time for delivery, she just didn't want to come out. I was actually a week overdue with her and thanks to my doctor having an important fishing trip, I was induced. I told my doctor that I was so fed up, that I would only allow three hours of labor and delivery. I was not sitting around for a day or two for this. He laughed at me. I was induced at 7pm on September 30th, began having contractions at 10pm, and at 12:38am on October first, Hannah made her entrance to this world. Two pushes. Zero pain meds before, during or after. I won. Less than three hours of labor. HA! Mutterings of a pregnant girl my butt...

Beanie was an easy pregnancy compared to Hannah. Gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, and luckily because I took some IV fluids in the first few weeks, everything was okay blood clot wise. I did have preterm labor a few times with him but he stayed in until I was thirty-eight weeks. He was breech from week fourteen on so we had a c-section with him. I was scared out of my mind but it went wonderfully. They gave me a spinal block and he was pulled out about thirteen minutes into it. I took no pain meds with him either. It hurt but I got up six hours after I had him and walked like crazy. Best thing ever, that walking! I went home the next day even. I'm a tough cookie ;)

I had three pregnancies that didn't end well. I was sixteen weeks when I lost my first pregnancy, thirteen weeks with my third pregnancy, and thirteen with my fourth pregnancy. All after the "safe point". I miscarried my first in the hospital. They did an autopsy before the burial and found out she was a girl. I named her Ashleigh. The other two were named Gabriel and Morgan. It's a very hard thing to go through, a miscarriage. But sadly, it's very common as well. It adds to our strength as women, and it helps us appreciate life a bit more fully. They say people don't appreciate life until someone they know has passed away or they have come close to dying themselves...

Mother's Day is a special day. It celebrates what we go through to be mothers. The challenges, the struggles, the victories (potty training!), the successes and of course our strength. Because in all honesty, no one could do what we do, like we do :) So don't be lazy, tell your mother, grandmother, wife, girl-friend and mommy friends, you love them and thank them for being awesome mommies. And if you are a mommy, then enjoy fully not just tomorrow, but everyday with your blessings. It truly is a blessing to be a mommy, one that should never be taken for granted. <3

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!